A “Down” Feeling

FRI., JAN. 8, 1999, 4:16 PM
FARM, STUDY

Yes, o son, this could describe your dominant feeling this afternoon. The weather contributes – grey, cold skies and slippery ice everywhere, nearly. You haven’t fallen… and if you were thinking in a more positive, upbeat mode you would see this as quite a feat for a man your age, with numb feet. The firewood splits easily, and you’ll undoubtedly “survive”, but you see it as quite a nasty day.

You can’t seem to get this desk cleaned, and that is a continuing “downer”. (You did stop and read quite an interesting Ruminations, of just a year ago… one on a persistent theme of Mine – stories. This is a way of identifying truth, even if stories are not all factually accurate.) Oh, you are making progress, but you hope to see the top before a new week commences.

You are frustrated by all that there is to read and consider… by mail that has to at least be considered… by paper and… You’re worried again about money… whether you will have sufficient… I tell you, from time to time, that I can and shall provide all that you need, but you wonder, in these times of “down”, what you should be doing to help Me carry out this promise. Yes, I could use one of these “come-on’s” to which you sometimes reply. Yes, that is possible.

When you have an occasional day like this, just live it through as honestly as you can. There’s no need to try to “cheer yourself up”. You know you are leading a fine life, that you’ve had considerable success, you have a fine, loving wife, relatively successful children, and a “just-right” place to live (except when the ice “descends”, which isn’t often). Your money supply is really quite sufficient, say I (4:37 / 4:38)… but of course that requires some caution, yet it doesn’t mean cutting back on “benevolences”… contributions to organizations and causes that are important to the kind of earth you want this to be… and as help to people much less fortunate than you.

Appropriately, you don’t have “down” feelings about deaths. Donna wasn’t a close friend, so there was no great personal loss. Yet you sometimes feel at least uncomfortable when you don’t honestly mourn for those who die. You know that death is a part of the life process, even as some die “prematurely”… and some live what seems to be “too long”. You know that nearly every human death is a “plus” for the web of life… and even for human life. Septuplets and Octuplets are certainly unique happenings… and, yes, I have allowed this to happen, but it does work against the balance that I want to achieve.

You don’t find much to counter your “downer” in the news of the day. Oh, your culture’s economy is purring along, in contrast to others, on earth, that can’t seem to find ways to meet their citizens’ needs. Again, be aware, anew, that you have minimal expenses and are, at least, among the minimally affluent, even in this culture. You don’t have desires for “things” that “money can buy”, and hence you don’t experience a “down” from wanting what you can’t have. This is a positive feature of your life, certainly.

Your church situation seems to be resolving itself in about as painless a way as possible. You don’t really enjoy being criticized, but you know you deserve some of it. So, in funks such as this you wonder why you continue as Newsletter writer and Clerk of Session. You know you do these tasks rather well, but sometimes it seems as though you don’t need the “pressures” that can come with these. That time shall come. It just isn’t quite here yet.

I’ve said you needn’t try “to cheer yourself up”… but it is all right to recall the warmth of relationship that is evident as you and son John Patrick are together. He is the son who appreciates these Teachings the most, which seems unlikely, as you remember his time of youth. But it is genuine, and you can’t help holding him in ever higher esteem… and love.