A Family Tragedy

SUN., OCT. 9, 1988, 6:22 AM
FARM, STUDY

You are both reluctant and eager to hear what I have to say about this latest incident I here call a family tragedy. I use this extreme term because your family has so few “problems” that an incident like this deserves the term “tragedy.” Matthew is your son, and therefore his actions affect the family. There are family triumphs and family tragedies. If you claim the former you must also accept the latter.

I have told you over these years of Teachings that Matthew (a name pleasing to Me) stays away from Me and My influence in his life unnecessarily. I am ready to guide him along a life path that is enjoyable and productive, but he chooses to molder along the way, unwilling to put his hand in Mine. I am not forcing compliance. That generally is not My way. I say again only that he finally shall come, after some necessary hardships.

You know, both from experience and from My Teachings, that alcohol can be a revealer of spirit. Basically, of course, it can diminish judgment, perception, and reaction time so that accidents occur. There may be other causes for an accident, but when a person having an accident has been drinking, alcohol is always one of the causes. Spirit can overcome some of these deleterious effects (and has, for you, on some occasions), but when it is not strong and “exercised” it cannot counteract the judgment of the affected mind and the slower and less coordinated actions of the body.

Spirit then surfaces in the interactions after an accident. Matthew was “uncooperative,” which, in the terms I am using now, means that his spirit was submerged by a mind and emotions that were dominated by anger, shame, and a lack of self love. The real tragedy, from My perspective, is in this inadequacy of spirit, rather than in the damage to the car, expense, insurance and legal hassles.

You, as parents, shall have to decide what, now, shall be of real assistance to him and what will simply enable Matthew to continue on this unproductive path. He shall have to bear some consequences for this accident, and you must decide what help is proper. You must show love for him but must not try to eliminate all of the hurt. He needs assurance that you care for him more than just the means to reduce the severity of the consequences. This is tricky, but this is your task and opportunity. It shall be a test of your spirit, for, finally, this is a family matter as well as a personal one.

Matthew shows that family tendency toward excess with alcohol, coupled with an undeveloped spirit. This combination was certain to bring some tragic consequences, and surely shall again if no change occurs. You can help some, but his relative willingness is the key factor. He shall come to Me and shall develop in spirit, but the when is up to him. It simply works better this way.

Do unto others as you would have them do unto you… this is, of course, a basic spiritual principle. The willingness of Debbie and John Patrick to be involved and help in this situation is an instance of family involvement. When things are going well for one in the family he may be reluctant to become involved in the trouble of another. But tragedies are a part of earth life, and, almost by definition, they happen unexpectedly. If you would want help from others in your eventual time of need, give of yourself to others, in the family, in need. And there is even greater spiritual merit when you never need the help yourself.