A “Friday Funk”

FRI., JAN. 14, 2000, 1:46 PM
FARM, STUDY

There is no good, apparent reason, o son, for this funk… this “down” feeling… this time of wondering what you should be doing… and why? It is a beautiful, almost mild winter day. You’ve done your “chores,” the cows are in the pasture, and yet your spirit is not responding positively. (Your fingers are cold, the explanation for your below-average penmanship.) What do I, Holy Spirit, have to say about such a response, such a condition?

Most troublesome is the state of this desk, its tables, and its floor. You can win small victories over the mess and clutter, but quickly the “mess is back.” You can’t seem to get it all to a neat condition and maintain it. I am not a “neatnik,” but I just see how this is bothering you… both the condition itself and your inability to get it into the state you want it to be. I have no need to chastise you. I’ll just offer you another goal – have it in the order you want by Monday morning. (Says He who is outside of time and minimally concerned with this earth “thing.”)

You also are pondering the matter of the church’s Session. You have not wanted to give up the tasks of Clerk and membership on that Body, but now you’re considering it… and it is not an easy decision. You have enjoyed being Clerk for over 40 years, but now it is becoming a chore. You don’t want to continue to a state of incompetence. Remember the advice to your quartet, now over 50 years ago – “always leave ‘em clapping’ their damn hands!” Some incompetence that was noted by students was a factor in your retiring when you did from teaching. You have prided yourself (usually rightfully) on being able to do a good, even commendable job, whatever the challenge. You hate to admit that you aren’t as good as you once were… or as you aspire to be.

The aging process is upon you, and you are losing mental capacities earlier than you expected. Based on experiences with your parents you didn’t expect such mental losses in your mid-70’s. But such it is, and there’s little chance that you’ll improve much… even with lists. You have not felt ready to give up these responsibilities and this active participation, but you are not “producing” as expected.

This need not be a complete withdrawal from participation. Be ready to volunteer for greeting, for ushering, for anything you can still do, with spirit. You needn’t “quit” as sharply as your Dad did when they moved to Hawaii. Just accept that it’s all right to be on the “off ramp”, a gradual withdrawal. You gave up the Newsletter, as you should have. You’ll be less and less able to fulfill regular recurring tasks. (This one, hearing from Me, must be the last one you give up!)

Know that I’m guiding you in this last portion of this earth life. You have weathered the frustrations of university and professional life, of parenting, of knowing “who you are.” You have enjoyed your life, even as you” invited” some of those earlier frustrations. I’m telling you that this earth life of yours will not be much longer, but the life of your spirit will continue on, as it has before.

You are not afraid of what your culture calls death… and you shouldn’t be. You are a human male who has enjoyed a well-functioning body, and it is hard to accept the losses as they come… and remain. Likewise with your mind…a good one that you used well, but which is now “shorting out” increasingly. You’ll be fascinated, yet again, when you come across and experience your spirit “taking over” for your mind. It’ll be quite natural, but also quite fascinating. (Your son, Michael, certainly enjoyed his earth life, but he is adapting wonderfully, “over here.”)