A Hospice Morning

SAT., SEPT. 16, 2000, 11:02 AM
SIU CAMPUS, LAKESIDE

Yes, o son, you did do your “favorite” presentation to a group of new hospice volunteers. You prepared for the hour that was yours to inspire, and you were “almost” ready. Despite your practicing… and it was worthwhile, for you did what you planned… and well. Yet for some strange, unexplained reason you just “blocked out” the affirmation (that you could have inserted at least twice) that you, personally, have prostate cancer, and you’re electing not to accept any “modern medical means” to abort or slow it.

You wanted to make this affirmation. You had practiced it. And, to your credit, you didn’t consciously and purposely leave it out. You just have to assume that something in your “unconscious” prevented the “confession.” (Oh, you could also assume that I blocked this, for some reasons of Mine. I’ll tell you I didn’t but it also is obvious that I didn’t remind you, if I wanted such a relevant admission. So… it remains: you (We) had a chance to identify you, a competent, even “sparkling” speaker to this topic, as one with one of the conditions that brings folks into hospice care. You, then, are a future potential hospice patient. You can’t do anything about this now, so just look for the next legitimate opportunity.

And, then, I’ll also say, whereas such an admission would, for some, make you into some sort of “hero.” Yet it is equally likely that others would have been repulsed (well, almost) by the notion of not availing yourself of “proper medical care.” Some take this opportunity to be a hospice volunteer (often unconsciously) to try to reduce the fears of death, particularly from cancer. So, such an affirmation by you could be a “help” in such hoped-for reduction, OR it could just be confusing… who is well and who is sick?

The spirit of the group was good, and they did respond well to you and your presentation. You had considered that this could be your last “appearance” at such training. Now you hope you’ll be asked again, and you know you can… and will… “do it better, next time.”

Oh I recognize that your desire to be an active “presenter” are diminishing… and you realize that as you don’t take a few opportunities such as this one, you’ll lose your competence and “edge,” and the quality of what you attempt will not be satisfying. After your good career you don’t want to be seen as incompetent and “over the hill.” You are aware of all of this, but now you know that I am, too.

I’ll affirm, yet again, that I do approve of this hospice movement. First, it does give volunteers and professionals chances to truly help persons, old and not-so, with a coming dying experience. In My eyes, this is quite a worthwhile service, for it does have quite a spiritual dimension to it.

But, more importantly, it encourages the perception that death CAN be a final life experience (here in the earth) that is of great value to the soul development of the one dying.

To your credit you did contrast the “ways of dying” experienced by sons Peter and Michael with those of your parents, and then AFFIRMED that you, at 74, were having the opportunity to truly appreciate life… with time and capacities to be “in touch” with the now and with the dying process. In an earth life it IS a privilege to have this opportunity – to be aware enough and to appreciate how life has been, and is now, with some expectations about “life beyond.”

But you are aware that the Humanistic perspective is “alive and well” in this culture. It is considered heroic to prolong a life by technical, surgical, and medicinal means. It is almost considered a “sin” not to do so. The “line” that divides what could be done from what shouldn’t be done is a difficult one to determine, “accurately.” Much money, many resources and valuable hospital and physician time is spent on maintaining lives for a few more hours… days… months.