A Time Of Dependence… And Pain

THURS., NOV. 30, 2000, 12:20 PM
FARM, ROCKING CHR

You sit here somewhat comfortably in this familiar rocking chair, using an “undesignated” pen and attempting to write what you hear from Me, Holy Spirit. You realize now that this “adventure” in the woods in the early morning hours did leave you with good feelings of survival, but also badly damaged feet. You always have disliked, even hated, times of dependence, and this is certainly “one of your best.” Then I can say… enjoy the help from others, particularly from Lenore, and keep and display a gentle, loving spirit.

The pain is not excessive, but you don’t seem to be facing and bearing it as you want to… and as I desire. It will be with you for some time, so buffer it from time to time, but realize that it is a cost of this adventure.

This will be the first of several “instances” where you shall have to decide about further, expensive medical care. Naturally it will be recommended, but you’ll have to “factor in” and consider the various conditions of your body. You have untreated (medically) prostate cancer, you have high blood pressure, which stresses the heart. Your vision is deteriorating, as is your hearing. How much should you spend, therefore, on trying to restore your feet to functioning, if this shall be only for a short time? ( 12:43 / 1:07 )

A visit from Debra, the “angel nurse,” has restored your feet to less pain… and at least some capacity to walk, should you have to. She is a splendid daughter-in-law, and you appreciate her fully… and feel fortunate that she, John Patrick and their family live so close.

You have asserted, to Me and to others, that you have no qualms about leaving this present life for a continuation of the spiritual, more “long lasting” one. Yet you are not certain that this is “the time” to give up trying to regain full health and functioning and just “live it out” for whatever time is left, with this body. By some of your “middle-class standards” this could be considered as a suicide, but you would/should be seeing it as “giving up something good for something better”. You would be giving up a life in which you have lost… and will continue to lose… several functional capacities in order to reenter the spirit realm best for you, with no need for these failing parts of your body.

And, in the practical conditions of your culture, you would be “giving up something good” – expensive medical, restorative procedures (which could leave you as a medical patient for your remaining life) for something better – the means to pleasanter final years for Lenore. It would be a “gift of love”, not a selfish, “hanging on” to life, leaving her without the means to a comfortable final years. Sacrifice is obviously a high value with Me, and you are not surprised that I suggest this.

You sit here in this pleasant, familiar room, and you contemplate your options and the consequences of each. You have a wide streak of independence, which makes it uncomfortable to be reduced to this condition of relative dependence. As you saw the condition of your brother-in-law, Bob, you expressed revulsion at continuing to live, in such a state. And here you are, only slightly more mobile than he… but feeling that you could recover, while this is now unlikely for him. One difference, you assert, is that you look forward to life in some spirit realm, while he has no such expectation (“this is all there is… hang on!”)

And I do assure you that your life will continue in the spirit realm best for you. But how you finish out this life will be a factor in your “future life.” To “hang on” selfishly will not be desirable. To focus excessively upon your hurts and losses is also not desirable. Do what you can to encourage the natural capacities of your body to heal, but be continually aware of… healing for what? Will this life be worthy… or just a bit prolonged?