An Unfortunate Interchange

WED., MAY 31, 2000,7:20 AM
HONOLULU, HAMA’S CABANA

Yes, o son, the interchange, verbally, between you and Howard was an unfortunate ending to an otherwise fine visit. Some statements of yours “hurt him”, and you’ll both have to see how the incident “plays out”. Such times of disagreement can be forgiven and forgotten OR they can permanently harm, even destroy, a relationship. Leave him… and Joanne… a note of apology and a request to be forgiven… with a promise to write more fully when you return home.

You certainly don’t want to be estranged from Howard, which would also estrange you from Joanne and other members of the family. Yet you recognize that you and Howard are not much alike. You weren’t as younger men, and the differences are more apparent now, even as the friendship has continued… by not allowing the differences to arise and be recognized.

You are quite satisfied with your life and lifestyle, but you accept some “benefits” of his as you visit here. He is very generous, and you appreciate this. In terms of money you have much less to be generous with, and a life time of being careful and frugal with your means has left some deep patterns. These are not necessarily bad (and I, Holy Spirit, am not bothered by them… actually encourage such a life-view); they just are different from Howard’s.

You have recognized these differences before, of course, but there has been no comparable confrontational interchange. You didn’t intend it to be such, and, as you recognize, alcohol was a factor… a result that almost fulfilled the admonition, “In vino veritas”. You were speaking truth for yourself, but not phrasing it carefully, to preserve a “good relationship”. You are not happy with the result, but you’re not much more proud of just avoiding controversy.

You have not been one to provoke controversy or to encourage such. And you probably won’t, in these final years of this life. Yet you still have a few shreds of that competitive spirit of your younger years, and, very occasionally now, it comes forth. As Jesus I was basically gentle, but you do note a few occasions when I was more confrontive. (And some of these related to money.)

You return, later today and then tomorrow, to a simpler life, and you’ll muse on the contrasts with what you’ve seen here. It is the best life for you, and you must consider carefully, in the future, departures from it, even of the “visiting sort”. You have had many life experiences… plenty for you. You had quite an active life, so you needn’t aspire to new adventures as you finish out this life.

Because you accept that the non-medical approach you are taking with your cancer (of which I approve) may result in your “coming across” a bit sooner than if you submitted to medical treatment. You are more “attuned” to and aware of life as you now have it. And, because you expect Lenore to have a longer life, beyond yours, you are concerned that she be as comfortable as possible. Thus, the inheritance money (wherever it is) is to be this “means”, for her, and not as a means for luxurious living for you. You definitely have mixed feelings about money.

As a peasant is how you see yourself (though this is a bit exaggerated). You are slow to spend on unnecessary things or activities. You are less reluctant to lend or give money to the well-being of your family. You’d like to have more, but you’re also quite satisfied with what you have. You have no regrets that you didn’t pursue a career that would leave you, in retirement, with greater income and savings. You like some of what money can buy, but you have few, to no, motivations toward luxury. You needn’t try to make all of this come out neater and more consistent. Just… “to thine own self be true”.