An Up… And A Down…

THURS., MAR. 19, 1998, 6:53 PM
FARM, STUDY

Last evening you had the opportunity to tell your spiritual story, in a fairly complete form, to a small group of interested, emphatic folk. You enjoyed it, and so did most of them. I was with you, of course and appreciated your identification of Me as the One Who came to you… chose you. You couldn’t tell, exactly, how all were receiving this, but, as I’ve told you, it isn’t important that you be positively and enthusiastically received. You have a story to tell, and how you do it influences some. That’s enough.

Then today was a contrasting feeling. Even as you were accomplishing two familiar tasks… the Newsletter and the Session minutes… that you enjoy and do well… you felt stress and fatigue. It seemed as though it was time for you to rest and to take on no more stressful tasks. Yet you know, yourself, and I have echoed this over the years, that the church Newsletter is an important “mission” for you. There are many potential ones that would not be easy and would be frustrating, but this one is still a “right one” for you.

You haven’t really considered giving it up, even after the “down feeling” today, so I continue to encourage you in this appropriate service to your church… and to Me. (I’m just sorry it is so humorless this month. Keep this comment in mind for your next month’s issue.)

In a way, this was a small “test” over these two days… can you enjoy the “up” feeling, particularly when you have deserved it… and then can you accept and come through some “downer”, even in close proximity? Your left hand also is a “down experience”, even as the pain aspect has diminished, if not gone way. The weakness and lack of strength is worrisome, and, yes, you can compare it with your leg caper. You have no pain, certainly, and your recollection and some of these Teachings tell you you have had pain, as well as disability, in those lower extremities. You didn’t recover full function, but you’ve adapted well, and your “walk” is only slightly “off”.

You’d hate to end up with this left hand as dysfunctional as it is now. You’re trying out adaptations, and you see that you could manage fairly well. You’d like to go through the rest of life in good physical “condition”. This may or may not happen. Just know that you can advance spiritually either way. And isn’t this what life is all about?

You were pleased… and you should have been… that son John Patrick was there for the ADLIB meeting. As you move on into this elderly status it is fine to have a son so committed to what We do together. He is quite special in this regard, and is it possible that I have blessed you with such a son? Why not assume that I have done so.

It was an “up” to meet and greet Kim… Smith, as you know her. Yesterday it was a joy to interact with Lynda, Karl, and Ralph. You still are important to them, and they to you. Yet you also know that the “down” is coming… when the young people you have had in classes are gone, and you have no easy, consistent way of getting to know the “next group”. I’ll suggest, again, the spiritual group, meeting out here. It could… even should… be a genuine “upper”.

Importantly, however, from My perspective on your continuing life, I don’t see enough of the lifestyle that both you and I have envisioned, working here on the Farm and reading and then contemplating, as a good monk should. The right balance has still not be reached. The desired rhythm is not yet established. For awhile you may have to make lists, accomplishing some worthwhile tasks. Now you too often see so many competing uses of time and energy that you can’t easily choose… and good time is wasted.