… And, In The Midst Of Healing…

SAT., MAY 30, 1998, 5:00 AM
FARM, STUDY

…I Am here. Yes, o son, you have had a time of illness and dysfunction, and now the healing processes are “in charge”. I was with you in the pain and discomfort, and I am with you now, as you come to some new condition. At your age you cannot count on returning exactly to what you had “before”, as a condition of health. What you are experiencing is not something that can be completely “wiped away”. It has had its effects, and, though you can reachieve positive health it can’t completely counter what has been.

You are coming through this “time to be sick” in a fairly positive fashion. You have yelled at discomfort, but you haven’t felt too sorry for yourself. It was good that you read the small book from Bob, for example, and felt the differences and the likenesses with Marrie. His was a clearly fatal condition, with an almost predictable “time table” to the transition. You have always had the positive thought that you would recover… that even some of the deteriorations would be restored. You can’t yet quite imagine what it would be like to continue to lose functions that you know won’t be recovered.

Yet your age sets you on such a path, though not as clear and unchangeable. Your Sister’s comments about your Dad as a bowler and a volleyball player brought thoughts of the past. You know your Dad was a creditable bowler, and that this was his main athletic activity for some years, but… how many back? When did he last pick up a ball? In terms of memory, it doesn’t really matter, does it?!

He was never a volleyball player, but you were. It was a cherished part of your life, but it had to be left behind. There is now no evidence of the court that “was”, next to the picnic table. Now you have lost your capacity to play the guitar, so you cannot create the songs that once were part of your “being”, as a professor, a grandfather, a unique person. It is now “what used to be”.

And so it shall be, with more of what has characterized Bob Russell. What can you retain or develop as “alternatives”? That is a positive challenge that I lay upon you.

It was a pleasant surprise to talk at length with son Matthew on the phone yesterday. He has, in the past, obviously faced death, even self-inflicted, and he seems to have an acceptable picture of life and death now, as still a young man. I say “acceptable” because, although he is not dogmatic about “one way” to see this “journey” he doesn’t yet seem to have one that he can call his own. He has invited you to lunch and talk with him, giving you an opportunity to share the vision I continue to give you with him. In the midst of your physical healing would come a chance for spiritual healing and growth… for both of you.

As you spoke to Matthew you told of readiness to move on to realms of spirit, but “not quite yet”. This is pretty much what I’ve told you… that your “time” is not yet “now”. Yet you have been given this perception so that your awareness of “what is important” will increase, and so, too, your appreciation of the positives in your life… and the differences between these and all of the negatives that so dominate the daily news.

You wonder, as you try to appreciate some of the “wonders” of this age why I have allowed nuclear weapons… even nuclear power, with its deadly waste, which must go “somewhere”. There were reasons for this, but… what shall the consequences be? I am only slightly bothered by losses of human life, but I am reluctant to lose the whole web of life in any useful part of this earth. Should I allow an “exchange” of warheads? Just know that such will not happen without My “approval”.