Another Day Of Recovery

MON., DEC. 4, 2000, 1:25 PM
FARM, ROCKING CHR

Yes, o son, you sit here alone, with a good fire beyond the hearth, with the focus shifting from you, the injured one, to BJ, the one in need of painful dental work. Your feet are still sore, and of course you do wonder to what extent they shall heal, to at least the function you enjoyed “before.” You would like to have them function well again, but there may be a continuing “price” to this bizarre adventure in the countryside.

The mantra I send to you rings out again: consider and appreciate what you have, instead of focusing on losses. Appreciate the life you’re privileged to lead, and be positive, appreciative (yes, that is a purposeful repeat), and full of life/joyful. You just still have much more than you’ve lost.

Be appreciative, also, of the volunteer help that you have – Lenore, of course, but also sons John Patrick and Matthew… and B.J… and daughter-in-law, Debra. You could be doing more for yourself, but… don’t prevent those who want to help you from doing so. Be cautious about “demanding”, and judge, continually, whether what you think of “asking for” is judged an unnecessary burden on the care-giver. It is a “tricky business, spirit wise” to be the “patient.”

( 1:44 / 9:10 )

It is good to have few… to no… tasks that you must do, though this is a realization that still brings you some discomfort. It has not been easy for you to “retire,” for you were quite involved in an active teaching career, but now, these days, you have less and less desire to “accomplish.” Just remember that hearing and writing these Teachings from Me, Holy Spirit is what you have “retired to,” not “from.”

Your night “ahikin’” has left you with injuries from which you need to recover. This recovery seems slow to you, though Debra is optimistic (and, hopefully she’s right). This visit, tomorrow, with the plastic surgeon, will be a crucial one. You need to hear an “honest” appraisal from this surgeon about how necessary these procedures are, if time is not a factor. That is, will healing take place, with your feet being “nearly as functional” as they were, but in a longer time frame? Or… is it truly “dangerous” to let this slow healing be “the way”?

Consider, and have him consider, the losses you’ve already experienced… and what lies ahead, for your body, quite apart from these injured/recovering feet? You realize that there have been changes in your life-style, in this past not-quite-two weeks. You see these, mostly, as being temporary, not the normality of the future. But you also must accept that your future normality may be more like this “healing time” than the “before”. That’s hard for you to accept, but it must at least be honestly considered.

Thus, it may be that you will have to adapt your life to a less functional body. Remember that you, in considering a quick, easy death or a more prolonged time of disability before actual bodily death, tell Me you’d opt for more life… more time to appreciate this life and to prepare for leaving it. Now you have indicated to Me that you would not want to continue life in as disabled a condition as your brother-in-law, Bob, and I accept this as good judgment. But your present condition reminds you… doesn’t it?… that you don’t always have clear choices about what the future of you and your body will be. You didn’t intend this to happen to your feet, but… here you are.

You shall have to decide, daily or more often, about what to try to do and what to “pass up”, temporarily or “for the rest…” I’ve always liked your conquering spirit, and I still do… and don’t want you to give up too easily and quickly. Don’t let one or two failures cause you to “give up,” but, also, don’t try desperately to achieve something that is no longer possible. Some “substitute” or “compromise” may have to be “developed” or “negotiated.”