Another Evidence Of Elderliness

MON., SEPT. 25, 2000, 12:27 PM
OFFICE, PULLIAM

You had an appointment/date, but… you somehow missed each other. This emphasizes, yet again, that you can’t depend on your memory, as you once did. It does feel strange (I’m told) when a mind that has worked well for many years begins to sputter and falter. (You see, you messed up on a word in My title!)

This is the anniversary of your Dad’s birth, his birthday for nearly 100 years. And you remember how he was in his last years… like… “you know I can’t remember that,” but never as apparently comfortable with that as Mabel has been, in her 90’s. Though you were with him only occasionally you did notice how he became less able to be how he had been, in younger years. You are considerably younger than he was when you were aware of his losses, but you just are “aging earlier.”

You don’t have clear desires to die, but you do feel that you have had a good, productive life (and I agree), and you don’t look forward to years of deterioration. “If you are, as you are, now, how would you be in your 90’s?” As I’ve suggested you need to keep simplifying your life. You agree that making the trip to California for a Bruin reunion would be fun, (and you hope to join with that group sometime next year), but it would involve the “disturbance” in your lifestyle that is harder, now, to cope with.

You have generally good memories of your Dad, but, nevertheless, the most recent were times of experiencing losses. The best of the nearly recent memories were meeting him at 7 in the morning for a couple of walks around the downtown park in Honolulu. He was older than you are now, but you expect to lose the vigor comparable to his at a younger age.

Fortunately, you are not “fighting against” or denying the reality of this creeping elderliness. Oh, you can still push yourself to do what you can, and you can write notes to yourself to abet your less dependable memory. You’re not being invited to do more presentations here in classes, and that’s about as it should be. You can still do that hospice “number” rather well (even without the songs), but be aware, in this upcoming one, of evidences that you should say No in the future.

I’ll just keep reminding you that this rather simple lifestyle, on the Farm and in here, occasionally, is the best for you… and for others. Your main “lack”, from My perspective, is continued practice in contemplation. You have a “window” now, in which you don’t have to think about and consider political, social, and economic issues, but if you don’t give more attention to contemplation you may lose the capacity before you develop the “rhythm.”

You see, it is quite appropriate for one your age to be less concerned about the minutia of life, even as some, your age, still maintain capacities to be informed and contribute. You are just aging faster than some. Be glad and proud that you’ve been “relevant” this long.

Now of course I still urge you to be active in this Bible study group (even to considering the Sunday morning class, as well) and to reading further in the Scriptures and in other spiritual writings. And also remember… that I’m urging you to discern and ponder the spiritual aspects of other experiences… watching the Olympics, for example. You are quite aware, from your early playing and coaching years, that spirit is a part of athletic competition, and it should be fun for you to continue to discern this, even “from afar.”