Another “Last”

THURS., MAY 1, 1997, 6:25 AM
FARM, STUDY

Yes, o son, yesterday afternoon was another “last” in your long career as an educator for health. It was the last class session in a regular 3 course semester. It was here at the Farm, as is now traditional for “last classes”. It was, unfortunately, here in the house, and it was fortunate that 8 were not present… perhaps 30 is a record for a group inside. The wind blew, and a few drops of rain fell, but there was no violent storm here.

It was a satisfying class, even as it was larger than your ideal. Some of the comments were a joy to hear, further evidence that you have been leading groups in learning in ways spiritual, as I favor. You took My advice and made the final exam optional, and it seems that no one has asked to take one. That shall give you time to finish the grading for these 3 classes and then prepare for the first, and most important, of the summer courses. You need to begin that preparation this next week.

You know that I’m disappointed, a bit, that you didn’t reveal your own spiritual journey to this group. You practiced it, and you could have done it, but, true, it would have been at the expense of some of their “testimonies”. Three years ago in the Human/Spiritual Interacting class you took a few steps out of your “closet”… and you have invited several more students to be readers of Our Ruminations. Still you had the opportunity, and you let it go by. Naturally I’m not pleased. I recognize the bases for your reluctance, but, also naturally, I don’t see that you should be ashamed about a close relationship with Me, the Holy Spirit of the Lord God.

The Ellen show last evening portrayed, in a comic/serious way, the “coming out” of a lesbian woman. Interestingly, her first open attempt at a homosexual relationship brought a gentle rejection. This also could happen to you… but the relationship with Me would be strengthened. And… most of these young folks have not had personal contact with a mystic, and you are a unique one. Don’t deprive your summer groups of this “one-of-a-kind” experience.

Yes, o son, you shall miss the experience of future classes such as the three that just have been completed. You have had the time to mold your teaching career into this ideal form, and I have been pleased to help. But it is time, soon, to move, easily if somewhat reluctantly, into life without such benefits and, also, frustrations. Oh, you shall wonder what this next “generation” of students would write, in response to your assignments, but you have many excellent papers to reread, in this time of nostalgia.

As so often happens in earth life (but not always appreciated) a “last” also heralds a “first”. You have had some days when you’ve “practiced retirement”, but there always are the papers, the preparations, the orals, the responsibilities that still are there, just pushed aside for a brief time. But this “last”, just celebrated, is also the beginning of a life phase without 3 separate classes to prepare for, conduct, and evaluate. You are not through with teaching, but that experience, that has been yours for these 32 years here, will be over with the turning in of the 3 grade sheets. To be without these 3 is a loss, but it also is a “first” to be equally appreciated.

There is a reluctance, in you, to begin selecting the books you shall keep, separating these from the ones you shall dispose of, in some way. Then you will have to do the same with your many folders of materials. Use the triage approach that I suggested, but it still will take time… and it will be hard, emotionally.