Another Time Of Discomfort

THURS., MAR. 7, 1996, 6:38 AM
FARM, STUDY

After almost two years without pains of any consequence, here you are experiencing discomfort, at least, in your hip that affects certain movements and disturbs your sleep. At this point you are not inclined to see this as a medical problem to be fixed, and I agree with this inclination. If it gets worse you may have to reconsider, but for now just experience the aches and enjoy them as much as possible.

There also was discomfort this week in the “pile-up” of responsibilities, causing you to be “jangled”, which happens less often now. But you settled down and accomplished nearly all that was necessary. While it is burdensome to pour through the application folders you felt good about being an active part of the process, giving in to the judgment of your younger colleagues at times and holding out for your judgments at others. It was an extra burden in a stressful early week, but, in retrospect, worthwhile.

Another discomfort is to see the buildup of the letters you must or should write. Which to do?… the dutiful difficult recommending ones, or the personal, spiritual ones. Try to complete at least 2 a day during this time of no classes. For, as you suspect, more requests and opportunities will come your way. You have some discomfort in not yet being computer literate, not being involved in e-mail and the Internet. That seems “to be passing you by”. You still feel the value in personal handwriting, and I’m still with you in this, but there is discomfort in feeling that you should be as competent in this communication technology as your grandchildren. I can’t tell you what to do about this. I am not against this developing computer technology, but neither am I a zealous devotee. It could be a means of communicating spiritual messages, but it also is a distraction from spiritual focus.

In general, this is a good time in your life. You can look back on a worthwhile career, in 3 settings, with this place as the major one. You have accepted this being on the “off ramp” as necessary and appropriate. You have accepted, and are willing to talk about, the slowing down that characterizes most of your actions now. Yet there also is a discomfort in losing this position in life. You know it is inevitable, but it has its share of discomfort.

I’ll just keep urging you to look forward to the comfort that shall come from shedding this major university responsibility and being able, in your slowness, to give more attention to these Teachings, to other spiritual matters, and to this Farm and its potential for enjoyable production. You know all of this, but there still is some reluctance in giving up what you now have. You know you will soon be forgotten on the campus, but just accept that as inevitable for all but a few of the most out-standing… and you’re not one of these.

While you are quite comfortable in this relationship with Me… and very pleased that Lenore is “in this with you” you still have the discomfort… about like the ache in your hip, which is bothersome but tolerable… of not being able to share all of “our” perceptions with more than a few. In some ways I have isolated you from any large “constituency”. You have knowledge that you’re not willing to risk sharing, and this fans another form of discomfort. Just consider that after you retire you can continue to write, and though you may not share such with many present earth folk, they can remain for the next generation, more of whom may be open to the truths that I’ve shared with you.