Appreciate “Happenings”

SATURDAY, MAR. 24, 2001, 3:02 PM
FARM, STUDY

It is a semi-sunny afternoon, but with a cold breeze from the north. You “tried” some time in the garden “to be,” but realized that it is not yet “the Spring” you await. Your feet still are “tender,” and you wonder to what extent the heels and balls will “toughen up”… or will barefootedness still be painful this year. I tell you this is mainly an opportunity to invoke the spiritual and find ways to appreciate this “happening.”

You should realize (and, to some extent, you do) that most people who know you see you as healthy and full of vigor. It is not easy for you to be in this experience of “departure from health”… and it isn’t easy for many others who know you to reconcile their more “long time” perceptions of you and you, now. You have tended, in your life, to dislike weakness… in other and in yourself. So, this is, most importantly, a test of your spirit, in its “dealing” with this particular “weakness.”

Your 75th birthday approaches, and you want to feel vigorously functional…and to be able to show this forth in your attitudes and behaviors. Yet you do acknowledge (with just a “touch” of “poor me”) some weaknesses and losses, but you do tend to focus on the strengths you still have. (I like your response to the query, “how are you?” ( 3:17 / 3:21 ) as “quite good, down to my ankles.”) You do want to recover and be able to function almost as fully as before this “happening”, but you also realize that at your age full recovery is unlikely…and, as you have to admit, any recovery will “take longer.”

But there are things you can do. You know that I want you to keep this room much neater than it is now… and usually is. You have a good start this time, but, considering what you “can’t do,” you should be able to keep this “private space” of yours in a neater condition. Get it done this time… and then KEEP it “uncluttered.”

All of the responsibilities you have had in your Church have been passed on to others… and there has been a “clean sweep” of the ministers. Judy’s contributions will be appreciated tomorrow afternoon and then she’ll “be gone” to another opportunity. So now you have one new minister and a new secretary, unaware of how you have contributed in the past. It is not important… what you have contributed… and you needn’t try to impress new leaders with “your reputation.”

Now just play your “low key” role, helping occasionally, but not trying to be acknowledged for what you “once did.” A few may remember contributions you have made, but you must accept the truth that you have “passed the torch” and are now just an “active member,” but no longer a “leader.” So appreciate this change, giving encouragement to those who now lead. Oh, you may have some constructive comments about new leaders (clergy and lay), but beware of being an old curmudgeon, always hearkening back to “what used to be.”

And then I’ll carry this warning/advice over to the whole of your life ahead. Mostly I want you to be positive, supportive, and appreciative of the work of others. You have generally been one to accept what others do rather than to be critical… supportive of only “your way.” This should continue, but also be aware of “happenings” that you can compare with those of the past or that you can honestly critique. It is true that the advice of “old curmudgeons” is not always appreciated, even when it would underlie an improvement. But I’ll also say that the advice of those younger and less experienced also may be inappropriate.

You haven’t often played the “critic role,” with zeal and comfort. You can now eschew such a role and appreciate “happenings,” even when the results are such that you could have truly said, “You should have…”