Balancing, Yet Again

THURS., JULY 28, 1988, 10:45 AM
LIBRARY, HANOVER COLLEGE

You are well into another day where balancing is necessary. Conversations are important. You can learn, and you can contribute. You enjoy volleyball and, also, singing. What joy to have so many competing good investments of time! Not much of this experience is left, but be involved as fully as you can be in the time remaining.

The fundamental balancing, of course, is between you as an earth person, with body, mind, and spirit, and with you as an eternal soul on a journey toward enlightenment… or re-union with Me… a merging back. You are a flesh and blood (and a lot more) individual with an identity in the late 20th century in middle class U.S.A. You have a family, a profession, a place of being, a church, and several communities of which you are a part. These are all realities sometimes melding nicely, sometimes being complementary, and sometimes in quite serious competition. It isn’t easy to be a human. As Jesus I know that.

10:58 AM / 8:07 PM (Parker Hall)

Yes, o son, as Jesus I had much balancing to do. By definition I did it perfectly. Still… I was human and therefore it was a struggle. You see, you have difficulty balancing your humanness with your everlasting spirit, but I was both God and the man Jesus. Should I have used My power as God to change the water into wine at the marriage in Cana? Wouldn’t it have been better… and just as perfect… to have delivered a short temperance sermon on the evils of excessive drinking and not done that miracle? Were the parables I told truly meant for enlightenment or for confusion? Did I know I was the Son of God, even God in human form, or did I feel this only partially? Was crucifixion really the best way to end the earth life drama? Was I really a good teacher or did I really not succeed very well with My own disciples?

All of these questions relate to the balancing I did, as Jesus, and this stands as a model for you, even you. You came into this earth with a fairly well developed spirit, but this was immediately submerged by the birth and early learning processes. You grew up as a Christian young person, but with no rememberable sense of spirit. You learned to think and act as a reasonable, rational, scientifically oriented young man. Yet you never rejected Me, and that was good balancing.

As you began to teach you were rediscovering spirit, even as you did not identify it as such. As you look back now you know this is true. At Stanford this continued, again without vivid consciousness. The balance was changing. You can identify no time when your born again experience began to affect your total life, but you can now feel that the balance has inexorably changed. It is doubtful that you could return to information-oriented teaching, even if you tried, which you won’t.

The feelings you have about this Synod School are almost entirely from spirit released and soaring. You are no better socially or as a singer than you were last week., but spirit makes you better at these and other behaviors. Resist notions of being the “star” of this School, balancing humility with an openness to participate. Just do what you can do with full spirit, but keep the balance.

Remember, in your total life situation, that you still are Bob Russell, imperfect human person, as well as Bob Russell, saint… with hand in My extended hand. How the world judges you is not finally important. As I see you whatever you do is perfect as long as you accept Me as your constant guide. I do not run off scared by every sinful act. I usually smile, because I know you’re going to balance these off with the power of your own spirit. Yet I know that this knowledge isolates you from many of your Christian brethren. You shall just have to discern which and whom can relate to this spiritual path.

Mostly I approve of the balancing you have done this week. Time with Lenore was somewhat slim, so keep this in mind as you establish the new rhythm for this next month. You are right in being wary of any official or organization positions. Your service was sufficient this week. When you consider another year don’t take on any more, but don’t see this past week as perfect… you a good, workable model from which to balance, with new circumstances.