Changes Are Evident…

SAT., JULY 1, 2000, 2:57 PM
FARM, PICNIC TABLE

You sit here at this old, deteriorating picnic table, and you look at a large branch of a maple tree that has fallen… across the old path, to and from the Farmhouse. It is now nearly 3 years since that last class gathering in this area. It was the last of many that were a great part of your career here… and of your life. These obviously cannot be “recaptured”. It is both nostalgic… and sad… to recall “what was”.

You can go back further… and envision the volleyball court that was there (to your left, now) and can remember the fun of those games. Compared with most of the students you were old then, but you played rather well for a relative “oldster”… and many of them agreed with such a judgment. The lawn is still there, about as it was, but the court markings have grown over, and the trees reach their branches out into the court… as if there is no danger they’ll be trimmed.

When you go up to Pulliam Hall, as you still do several times a week, you feel comfortable, generally, but you realize that each year that goes by means fewer students who know who you are or what you once “did”. You know this is “as it should be”, but there is still a tinge of sadness that what was, can no longer be.

You have a dissertation to finish reading, and then the task (important for you) of formulating questions that are pertinent… for you are as much “on trial” as Dixie will be. You remember the experiences with young faculty, with judgments made about their grasp of the research, the results, and the conclusions. Now you anticipate that some will be making assessments of you as one “fading away” from active involvement in the research enterprise. It is not likely that you’ll be asked to be on other committees, and you realize that you are feeling less and less competent to play this role. So… do prepare well, in order that you might be judged “positively”.

One change, of which you can be proud, as exemplified in this dissertation, is the acceptance of the spiritual as a “legitimate” dimension of health. You encouraged this in your student/advisees, and your reputation and status helped to have this now quite naturally accepted… as a legitimate focus for research. You persisted, early on, and now the criticism of this “inclusion” is muted and infrequent. Good for Us!

You feel… and realize… the changes in your physical self that are increasingly evident. Yes, you do have losses, but I still encourage you to give these as little attention as you can, focusing, instead, upon what you still “have” and what you can do to compensate for losses and still function well, for an “oldster”. And… IMPORTANTLY… enjoy these changes as much as you can, and be pleased with what still “works well” (or at least adequately).

You feel good about the voluntary changes in your “status” in the church congregation. You are no longer the “Editor” of the Newsletter, and you see that Linda has made it quite a more “modern” publication (as Dave wants Our Ruminations to be). You did your task well, but many do appreciate “the new” more than you do. You also resigned as Clerk of Session, and that Body continues quite well, without you. You have had “recognitions” throughout your life… and you have enjoyed and “profited” from these. It is unlikely that there will be any more, and you can… and should… be pleased that you are still actively alive to experience this “change in status”. I say… enjoy these “retirements”. Leave the tasks to those who still enjoy them… as you once did.

So… know now that you needn’t be “tied” to this one church (even as it still will be your “major home”). Your time last Sunday with the Cobden folks was quite worthwhile, and I want you to feel that you can “become part of” congregations that are familiar to you… and you to them. This time, without responsibilities, can be a sort of minor preview of The Church Triumphant… before you die and really “transfer your membership”.