Contemplating Your Past

SAT., FEB. 12, 2000, 6:35 AM
FARM, STUDY

It is a cold winter morning, but your stove should have enough fuel to carry you through this Teaching. The temperature in here is now up to 50°, warm enough… probably. You have been remembering some of your earlier experiences as Bob Russell, which can… and should… lead to some contemplation of how this life has been. Oh, you still have some of it to live, but, as you are aware, there is much less ahead than now lies behind… in the past.

You are frankly surprised as you recall the leadership positions you sought or were given, commencing in junior high school. Your memory doesn’t tell you how truly successful you were, as a leader… except that new positions continued to come to you… until you settled in as a full professor here and almost gave up the kinds of responsibilities you had during your younger years.

As you contemplate the memories you have you don’t find yourself “needing” to be a leader… not actively, even compulsively seeking leadership to satisfy some “goal.” Rather, it just seems that through those years you were perceived, by many, as a good leader, and you must have done well enough so that other opportunities kept coming along. And you do have some uncomfortable recollection of “failing” as an author for elementary and junior high textbooks. (I see that as just a necessary “balance” to your more numerous successes… and that the time necessary for such time-involved projects would have made your life more frustrating.)

You remember consciously deciding (and, yes, I was a part of that decision) not to seek or be drawn into leadership roles in your national organizations. It was sufficient for you to attend and participate in various conventions, but not in the organizations behind these meetings. You did have some initial “urge” to seek that kind of leadership involvement, but, wisely, you pulled back, in time, and avoided what would have made your life more complicated and less peaceful.

You have continued active service in your Church all through these years and just now are seriously considering stepping away from the Session and Clerk roles. It shall not be easy to give up these leadership roles… and yet it also is time for a change more in harmony with your life ahead than with your active past. If you’re going to do this soon you’d better “be responsible” about it and let the church know.

It is surprising to you, but it should also be of interest, that your “leadership” was active in your military “career.” It still seems unlikely, to you, that you would be selected as battalion commander of your Naval ROTC unit. Then, as you recall, you became athletic officer aboard ship, and you wrote the sports column for the ship’s paper. But why were you chosen first to be shore patrol in Bermuda? And your memory will drop more and more details as you progress into old age.

Know, of course, that I, your friendly Holy Spirit, was involved in your life before you were aware of My Presence. I encouraged your competitive spirit, which led to your head coaching opportunities and, more importantly, to your successful courting and “winning” of Lenore, as your best life partner. You then “applied” that spirit to your doctoral program, to your leadership back at Punahou, all of which led back to Stanford, and, then, to this place – best for you in the long years of your career.

The years of competition and accomplishment are now behind you. The “drive” to continue to be what you have been is almost gone, and, as you should, you are anticipating the future. There will not be much of it, as compared with your past, so enjoy it… be aware… and continue to hear and record what you hear from Me.