Crisis In A Life

FRI., DEC. 12, 1986, 6:41 AM
FARM
FRI., 6:41 A, STUDY

What an ironic combination of events you just have experienced, o son. Your last class was here, and, after a wonderful supper, they concluded with much affirmation of the value of life. Then came the call from Matthew with his affirmation that his life was not worth living. You gloried in the one and agonized over the other. You prayed fervently that I might help… directly or through others. And now you rise to a cold morning without knowing whether Matthew’s life continues here in the earth.

A crisis is a time when two or more courses of action can be taken. The usual course for a life has been disrupted, and this one was a violent fracture, from Matthew’s perspective. He trusted, and he was betrayed. He gave of himself, and he “was taken.” It seems as though all dignity in his life has been trampled upon. These are the crises that cause even strong persons to consider giving life up. Matthew was feeling this fully.

Unfortunately he does not yet have the maturity of mind, of emotions, and, crucially, of spirit to deal with such a challenge to his personhood. He faces a multi-faceted loss that is more than he can bear. The value of life fades before such a burden and such a humiliation. In other times and places the taking of one’s life in such a situation has been and is considered to be the honorable thing to do. This is not his tradition, yet he feels some of that sense. The major crisis for him, however, is the loss of feeling that he can remake and restore his present earth life and the temptation to take the coward’s way… the way of self-destruction. And you don’t know how he has chosen.

You know, and I have taught you repeatedly, that any crisis (and particularly major ones such as this one) is, fundamentally, a testing of spirit. In this situation Matthew has the most horrendous test, but so is it a test of your spirit, of Lenore’s and of each who care about him. (Yes, and Chuck’s spirit is also being stretched, for one cannot act so to another human without consequences. Earth life is a test, and some do lose ground through their selfishness and cruel actions.) Few persons really like tests, but they are part of My general plan for the earth. I do not engineer each of these crises personally, though I am responsible for some. Most, however, come out of the natural course of events, particularly when a person makes a number of bad choices in life action.

It might seem that one of Matthew’s “bad choices” was in trusting and loving. It seems as though this was foolish, and misplaced. Yet I tell you that trusting and loving are vital expressions of spirit. The challenge, after a betrayal such as this, is to trust again and to love again. To rise from the bitter, burning ashes of a trust betrayal is a supreme test of spirit. It is not easy to do. It is easy to give up, either on life or on trusting and loving.

By coming to this meditation with Me this morning you also are taking a risk. You trust that this relationship is a true one, and you love the results of it, even as the process is sometimes difficult. You interpret My words to mean that Matthew has not taken his life (though I have not said this directly), so what if he has? Could you continue to trust, or would the doubts that your culture encourages about the reality of My tangible presence arise? It would have been safer to stay in bed and not risk this potential crisis. But here you are, and the test goes on.