Different “Balancings”

SAT., FEB. 22, 1997, 7:12 AM
FARM, STUDY

Let’s take your interchange with Daniel in the class last Wednesday afternoon as a starting point: you and he were obviously seeing the balancing of life differently. You pointed out a 50 year difference in your ages, and hence, in your life experiences – actual and still to come. And you are quite aware of how the comfortable balancing of your life is changing in this last year of your full-time career.

You listened yesterday to talk of how “merit pay increases” would be determined in the future, and you admit, now, virtually no motivation to compete for grants, do research, and compete in the publishing game. But… there once was a time…

Part of the balance of your life in these last years have been your large, comfortable office. Now you must seriously consider when and how you will vacate that “sanctuary”. You are both putting that off and feeling that it will take time you just don’t have. The decisions will be almost infinite, so should you start doing something soon or just wait and do it frantically in a week or so? Each approach makes for a different balance of your life.

The class on Wednesday was particularly satisfying… you knew all the names and the discussion was lively and varied. You realized you will miss these experiences, for knowing each student’s name is so important. But, then, perhaps you will have that “one class per term” option, which could make for a more intermediate balance.

You look forward to a different balance, here on the Farm. You see too much messiness and disorder, and yet you can’t seem to see this kind of disciplined work as of high priority. There will be a time when that is possible and “right”… and you’ll recognize it. Your wood supply seems adequate for the burning season that remains, but in retirement years you could have a full woodshed again, without the fear of running out.

You see this Farm as a sacred place now, but the balance should shift even more in that direction in future years. Come to see more and more of what you do here as creating and maintaining a sacred place. Don’t work frantically… probably more like “accelerated puttering”.

Remember that film on aging that you used years ago, with the contrast in retirement life styles. The one man put on his suit and tie and went to the office each day, holding onto a work ethic like what he had carried on through his pre-retirement years. The other was dressed casually and proclaimed that he did whatever he felt like doing, with few compulsions. You already dress informally, and you know you shall be much more like this second “oldie”. Don’t let your work ethic dwindle too much, for it does have some life-sustaining power.

It will be important to have some interacting experiences, with individuals and groups. You can lead such, occasionally, but your better role will be that of active participant. Your church and the religious/spiritual community should provide all that you need for a good balance.

You look forward to much more non-hurried reading, a good deal of it re-reading of books once read, or at least started. This will be another way of reviewing some of the previous balancings in your life. Give yourself choices, but also be selective in what you keep. And remember that your absolute best source for reading and contemplation are these volumes of Teachings that I have give to you. I’ll undoubtedly “suggest” that you include such reading as a part of each day.