Families… Families

TUES., JAN. 19, 1999, 3:26 PM (CST)
HEADING EAST, 35,000 FT.

All but a few humans in this earth are part of a family… or families. Now on your way home, you have been amongst a part of your rather large family, of birth and marriage. Your own birth family was a small one, but it was “solid”, loving, and quite willing and able to help you become a well-functioning man. Your family of marriage was a large one… lots of siblings, aunts, uncles… making ample contributions to the next… and next… generations.

(Turbulence!) The reason for your trip was not one you would have chosen, but the personality and character of your son Michael was such that it attracted quite a crowd! You observed, years ago, that the death of a family member, particularly one who is young and personable, is an important and accepted reason for a “family gathering”. It was a family of blood and marriage, but also of relationship that was accepted as family. The Seeds are not actual family, but they “wanna be”, and the family wants to include them… and also Bobaire, Melissa and…

The Bible stories of families are far from completely ideal. Cain killed his brother, Abel. Noah cursed his son, Ham, for what seemed like a silly reason. David had Uriah killed (in battle) and then took his wife, Bathsheba, as his own. Solomon had many wives and concubines. As Jesus, I was conceived and birthed by a virgin girl in her teens. And so it goes…

Yet, as Jesus, I needed both an earthly mother and father. One of the most unique actions of a God is to come to earth and grow up in a loving functional family. I did it… and I’m glad.

It is a privilege for you to be a recognized part of this family, which for the first time, was an amalgam of the families of Michael and Wendy. (Oops, mistake… for the second time… there was a “joining” at their wedding!) You have certain “favorites” (and a few… very few… with whom you don’t relate, comfortably), and this, when time is limited, produces some “tension” in you. Still, this is a unique, special feature of earth life… families like this one… and you are pleased to be part of it.

The church family is another “form”, and you experienced this family, for Wendy and the children, exuding and demonstrating love and loving service. You’re not sure how comparable your congregation would be if, say, you or Lenore should pass on over. You know there would be some, but… how many? How dedicated? How persistent? You feel that the assistance from church family will persist, both in memory and appreciation of Michael, but also for well-known Wendy and the well-accepted children. This is satisfying knowledge.

Then there are friends, most of whom don’t have families of their own… comparable to this one. Bobaire has attested to his benefit from your family and his desire to be included. He was (included), and he did benefit, from genuine acceptance (by enough family members). Jim and Jane “slipped in” by way of the Bilgraves, but they continue to “earn” their acceptance and inclusion. Jameel “came in” by way of Matthew, a rather boisterous “sponsor”. It was a unique experience for him, with some genuine concern and acceptance.

As you consider your own family you see it both initially small and diminishing. Your sister, Joanne was there, for part of the experience, as was/were Pam, Kurt, and Justin. Your Dad’s family is gone or out of touch. You hope to revive some contact with your Mother’s “clan”, even as she is gone. But there aren’t many.

You also have the “family”, part of which/whom gathered for your retirement party – colleagues and former students and advisees. There is much richness there… which you hope you won’t lose. Your profession also has a family quality, but you’ll have to be a more faithful attendee at conventions for this to remain strong and buoyant.

Then there is the “core’ of those who receive Our Ruminations, an especially beloved cross section from the “other families”. You know this is a very special “family”, and these Letters of Ours do “feed them” in a unique way.