Family Values

WED., NOV. 27, 1996, 12:25 PM
FARM, BKFT. TABLE

As you look around this room you see numerous pictures of your family, extended. There are your sons, at different ages, and then their children, now more girls than boys and at different ages. This is a family value – remembering each one in picture form and over some years of each life.

Above all of what could be called family values is the value upon relationship with Me. Here you have diversity, certainly, with a range, in the extended family, from pentecostal to Orthodox, Catholic, and Anglican, within a church structure, and some variety in what is actually believed. You put high value both on these Teachings to you and on active participation in the life of your Church, Presbyterian. You wish that more of your family valued the results of what We do together, but at least there is no outright denial and rejection. (You also have to admit that you have little Aloha for some of the principles and practices of the churches which appeal to your sons.) It is sad when different practices, in relation to Me, divide families rather than unite them.

A family value that you should now explore a bit more is action during the dying period and after the death in relation to body disposal. You remember the almost competing values after Milton’s death… a simple, wooden casket or something more normally lavish. Lenore’s value won out, and the casket was simple and cheap. The stone at his gravesite, however, represents more of a value on ostentatiousness… or is it pride in the man and his life?

Your Mother’s body has been cremated, and soon the remaining bone fragments will arrive. They will be placed somewhere in Peter’s Park, showing forth the values of simplicity and remembrance. You’re glad that Lenore championed that form and place of “disposal”.

Now you must make some decisions about “disposal” for yourself and for Lenore. You both have little value on maintaining the life of your body, at almost any cost. I want you to have a value, somewhat like that of the late Cardinal, on death as a friend. It was for him, it was for your Mother, and it shall be for your Dad, also. It is a natural progression, however it occurs. It is a transition to continuing spiritual life, disembodied.

If you want your body to continue on as a Cadaver you should be sure of what needs to be done, beforehand. I have no objection to this, and it will be interesting to see how your sons react to this. There would be creamains, eventually, and you should make clear the scattering instructions. And be sure you know what Lenore wants and what the sons think of such.

A family value on relatively simple living, as a style, is one of which I approve. You still have a few “luxuries”, but you’re not really very materialistic or attached to “things”. You hope your sons and their families pretty much accept this value.

You are not quick in valuing new technologies, even some that could benefit you some. Some of the developing information technologies may be useful, but I don’t put really high values on any of these. There isn’t much overall gain, in the balance, from computers, et al. … gain in spiritual growth and power.

One important family value is in giving to others, to the Church, and to causes in which you believe, rather than spending on yourself. Even with your latent fears about not having sufficient money you do pretty well in putting this value into practice. Keep it up, and encourage your sons, including Matthew, to have this value. (His benevolence toward Rivanna is a “plus” on his side).