Fears… And… “Non-Fears”

SAT., MAY 6, 2000, 6:25 AM
FARM, STUDY

It’s a beautiful Spring morning, with the sun occasionally shining through the maple leaves, which increase in size and number each day. I, Holy Spirit, am with you, as you expected, and I shall identify, and talk about, some of the fears you have… and also your “non-fears”.

You do have some fears about disability, of several sorts. Your worst fear is of a stroke and its potential consequences. The weakness and numbness in your left hand is bothersome, but to have it further affected… and, particularly, your right hand… is a fearsome thought. Your feet are somewhat numb, but this hasn’t increased over several years, and the limp from your right “drop foot” is, again, bothersome, but not seriously. You’d like to be able to run as you once did, but you realize this is unlikely. You just hope these losses are “sufficient” for the rest of this life.

But a stroke or a heart attack could leave you quite dysfunctional, while still, technically, still alive. This is a legitimate fear, and it raises the question of how much medical care you should want… or how little. I know you don’t want to end this life in a hospital bed, and I agree that this isn’t desirable. You just need to be sure that Lenore and sons John Patrick and Matthew know about and agree to what I’m suggesting this morning.

You recognize that, while you haven’t had an obvious stroke, your memory is in a “loss mode”. You should make it more a regular practice – making a “list”… jotting down tasks you must do and, as yesterday, the order in which you should do them. (Even with the list you forgot about the church check yesterday.) You realize that this condition won’t “improve”. More likely it will worsen, so make few promises of responsibility in the future. Simplify your life, and enjoy it, as much as you can.

Yes, you should have your eyes checked again. Another lens could help this left eye in seeing more clearly… or this may be the vision you will have for the rest of your elderly years. It’s on your “list”. Make the call.

You do want to spend the rest of this earth life here on this special Farm. Yet you realize that this requires physical work that you may not be able to continue, with any ease. (6:59 / 7:01) You also know that, at your age, if you don’t push yourself to keep reasonably active you’ll lose more muscle strength and lung capacity. So in order to be able to stay here you’ll have to push yourself to retain, at least, your physical capacities. You do have time, now, so you don’t have to mow all your grass at once. “Schedule” the chores in doable amounts… and continue to enjoy them… as long as you can.

As is appropriate for you, one who has heard Me, with some regularity, for more than 20 years, you have little, to no, fear of death. You are thankful, and you express it appropriately, that you have not died suddenly, as sons Peter and Michael did. And you hope you will not live “too long”, as your parents did – beyond the enjoyment of each days’ happenings. In your culture it isn’t quite acceptable to announce that you’re ready to die, but I see nothing wrong with such a conclusion.

I have assured you that I am quite aware of your life… this portion and its “longer essence”, and that I am giving you time to prepare yourself for the “trip back”. You have given up your two responsibilities at the church. You are faithful to these times with Me, but are behind in composing Our Ruminations. And you need to do more letter-writing – or, at least, cards.

You do feel that you’re doing this… “this dying thing” quite well. You want to live on as long as you can function reasonably well, but you’re also increasingly eager (even) to move on to a spirit realm… or realms. You don’t truly know how this shall be, but you do accept My assertions that you shall come on over quite comfortably and shall be in quite a familiar place.