Forgiving Yourself

SAT., MAR. 26, 1994, 4:22 AM
FARM, STUDY

During the very early hours of this morning you were experiencing a struggle… within yourself. You are aware of the struggle between approaches to a problem like unto the one you’re experiencing. Your “let the body heal itself” approach, with My approval, does not seem to be working. Pains continue. Dysfunction does not improve and may be getting worse. You have been more than reluctant to submit to a medical approach, because it is an admission of weakness, an admission that spirit cannot overcome these physical “abnormalities.”

You know that you have clung to your natural healing approach with the judgment that, if need be, you could live, productively if not completely joyfully, with the disabilities you now have. It goes back, of course, to the healing approach some 14 years ago… that a permanent disability, if it were yours to have, could be a challenge to your spirit equal to full recovery.

But now, as you assess yourself, you encounter first the pain. It is not “soul destroying,” but it is “soul eroding.” The continued presence of the variety of pains that you experience in a 24 hour period is pushing you toward a medical procedure which would “take these pains away.” Your walk, even at best is uneven… the walk of a cripple. The weakness and imbalance in your right leg is embarrassing and even potentially dangerous. That one little incident with the accelerator of the Cadillac should not be forgotten. Your right foot, so important in driving safely, does not work as it should. What if there should be more weakness… or lack of attention to the dysfunction?

Yet the discomfort you have been feeling through this night, particularly in the early hours, is of more consequence to Me. Your mind is angry with your body for its obvious weakness and for its apparent inability to heal itself. Your spirit, whose main function is to maintain harmony among these various dimensions of yourself, is siding with your mind in being angry with your body. This disharmony makes it difficult, even impossible, for the body to mobilize its healing capacities. In a spirit of righteousness you are preventing, at least impeding, your own recovery.

But the bodies of even those who are truly saints here in the earth develop dysfunctions. Medical procedures can help. Do not succumb completely, but, rather, ask questions, answers to which can give you a better picture of what is happening, for what a successful surgical procedure could do… a better basis for choice. You have appointments to do this. You are in a “new arena” now, so make your behaviors fit this new one.

The importance of My title for the morning is that you must resolve the conflicts within yourself… which means, as it says, that you must forgive yourself and be in the mode of forgiving yourself. Realizing that standards that are apparently too high for your body at this time cannot be maintained, your spirit must lead the way in forgiving the body and accepting that some invasive procedures may be of help in restoring function and eliminating pains. You needn’t give up on the body’s capacities; just forgive it for not being able to do what it can’t, by itself… or even with full help from mind and spirit.