Friendship

FRI., JUNE 24, 1988, 6:01 AM
DOWNTOWNER, KALAMAZOO

This may seem to be a strange title for a Teaching on the first full day of a conference focusing on healing. In one sense it is, but I shall relate it in some ways. You are anxious to get going, so listen carefully as I develop this theme.

One aspect of human/spiritual interaction is friendship… that is, a certain amount of the right kind of human interaction starts a friendship, which then grows and develops best if the spirits of both are involved. It is unlikely that you will develop any friendships from a meeting such as this. Yet you could if you really tried. It would take some concentration of attention on someone who would reciprocate, and this would not be your style at a conference this short and organized in this way.

Friendships are not limited by age, but it is harder to establish real friendships with the normal undergraduate student. With graduate students it is more possible, yet some will still feel that you are too old and venerable to be a friend. And you may feel such differences and not truly seek the friendship.

There have been stark exceptions, of course. Laurette, despite the age difference, really sought a friendship, and such did mature well during her time as a student. It is well established, but you need to cultivate it, for this relationship is an important one for both of you. Be sure that you have her react to your descriptions of the two concepts… as much out of friendship as out of colleague relationship.

Colleague relationship… this, of course, is the best basis for a friendship. When two people have mutual interests and concerns friendship has the best chance to flower. You have let your friendship with Rick moulder because you have not followed through with your promise to respond to his paper. You still should do this, just out of friendship. You also should respond to his piece in Carlyn’s letter, which you could churn out quickly. Such would help maintain the friendship, which is a good one for both of you. It is a good example of mutual interests negating the difference in age.

Spiritual compatibility or being on somewhat parallel or crossing spiritual paths is the best basis for friendship. Sue is a young woman with whom you probably not establish a friendship were it not for the closeness of your spiritual paths. You could not even has the close friendship with Lenore if she were not as spiritually attuned to you… and you to her. And, increasingly for you, it shall be more difficult to pursue a real friendship with people whose spirits do not “shine forth.” Partly this is a matter of compatibility and partly it is because there are so many good friendships you should cultivate.

Nancy is a prime example. She needs your friendship, but you are not doing enough to keep it strong. Write to her, even in the short form she sent to you. Tell her of your love and concern for her. That is important for both of you.

Your Ruminations is a means to friendship. I need not remind you (but I will), for you do write it in a friendly fashion. It must not get too academic nor too spiritual. Use this as a criterion even in selecting quotes from Me – the letter should be clearly from one friend to another.

Even as I am the Holy Spirit of the Lord God I also am your friend. Consider the truth of the old gospel hymn, “What a Friend We Have in Jesus.” Many people, even good Christians, could not accept this offer of friendship. God is too good… too distant… too preoccupied. For whatever reasons… you can accept this friendship, and you come to hear a friend speak (and I don’t even capitalize it!), and you accept what I say, in friendship. This is as it should be. This is how you can be with students who hold you in somewhat comparable awe. Just reach out and let them know, “It’s OK. I can be your friend.”