Here And Now!

TUES., APR.17, 2001, 2:47 PM
FARM, DINING TBL.

You have started to read, once and again, the novel, Island, which is related to some fine memories of the past. It is a story into which you were “taken up,” and now, in a different time of your life, you shall see how it affects your spirit. You remember it as an “assignment” in that “long lasting” course, International Health. For you did profess that “health,” in the holistic way you saw it (and encouraged them to see it), would be “different” in different cultures.

You no longer are professing, so your “here and now” is not the same as it was with 3 or 4 classes a week, time with graduate students, and the writing, even research, that was another important part of your career. Now it is almost true that the church worship service on Sunday mornings and the Bible Study on Thursday mornings are the only “regular” events in your “here and now” life. You have almost accepted this as “here and now,” but there still are lingering feelings that you should be doing more… “on schedule.”

As you sit here at this great table you can envision different past gatherings, of family and of students. It is good to have such memories, but you no longer need to “miss” these or focus upon them as “the good times” in your life. You are still welcome and comfortable going to your “old” office, but it no longer is a central focus of your life. It is more “there and then” than “here and now.”

This is not a criticism (yet). You are not “hanging on” to what has been, but neither have your settled into a retirement life that is “sustainable.” I’m not “pushing” you. I just want you to be “true to” the here and now. You will have to decide what books and folders you should keep, remembering that even with this big house much more added to its contents would just add to the “clutter.” You are not yet quite ready to make some of the hard decisions that lie ahead… what to keep, what to give away, and what to “throw away.” But neither are you preparing for such a “here and now” that will certainly come.

Many ideas come into your mind… and spirit… about how the last portion of this life as Bob Russell will be. You don’t expect that it will be much longer, and this seems good, given the losses that seem to be increasing. You want it to be good… including such activities as re-reading (while you still can) some books, such as Island. Remember that you commenced your professional career on an island, even as your life there was not much like life in this story. You are not actually on an island here and now, but you increasingly see it as separated, in a good way, from life that is pictured on the evening news and on some television programs. In some ways, then, this is a symbolic “island,” and if gasoline continues to rise in price you shall be “here” more than you’ll be “there.” Enjoy it. It shall be good for your spirit.

I also approve of your thoughts about re-viewing good-old movies, those that you have on tape here and others that you can rent. Just as re-reading helps reinforce ideas and concepts so such films encourage another “form” of remembering… that can be a welcome “addition” to the here and now.

Increasingly, be a bit more “selective” of TV programs that you watch, giving more thought to alternative films… and activities. Consider, of course, that your vision may be lost before your actual bodily death.