In Truth, You Are Old!

SAT., FEB. 10, 2001, 1:06 PM
FARM, STUDY

This morning, with sun shining in a clear, blue sky, you were visited by one of your good, former students. He still affirms that he decided to come to SIU for his doctorate because of you… and the friendship has lasted over many years, signified by this visit. You are proud of what he has accomplished as a health educator, including the many opportunities he has been offered… and accepted… to speak and consult in many parts of this earth.

You have to admit, as you think back on this morning’s visit, that there were times when you didn’t recognize a name, couldn’t remember something important to the conversation, and realized that time was “marching on” without you. These are signs of being elderly, and you can remember, almost, when men in your field reacted similarly, and you could realize and recognize these signs of aging.

This is why many of these health educators, who were older than you are now, stopped coming to professional meetings. When you realize what you are losing… or have lost… it can be embarrassing in interactions with those still in command of their memories and principles (and, importantly, facts and ideas). In relation to your “field,” as it is now, you are “over the hill and sliding down.” You shall try to hold on, as long as you can, but you do remember how you reacted when some of the “great old ones” came to meetings and were no longer able to “be what they had been.”

You remember Obie’s response to the question, “How are you doing?”… usually a rather innocent, innocuous query. It was, “Bobby, life is just a bowl of peach pits!” He had been great… and he was no more. His past was notable, but in your culture such remembrances don’t tend to counter what you are now.

You still have some value, but you are no longer a leader in your once-field. These Teachings, and the Ruminations therefrom shall be your unique contribution to those who still are interested in you. This shall mean that you are not as “well-rounded” as you once were… or tried to be. But this is still a contribution you can make, to some individuals. “Be all that you can be” does also imply that you should cease being what you no longer can be.

You wish that you didn’t have these injuries to your feet. Oh, your safe return was at least a semi-victory over old age… and you can be proud of this adaptability… but it is hard accepting the role and status of one handicapped. You do have feet that hurt, and you are scheduled ( 1:37 / 1:57 ) for skin grafting in a bit over a week. You wonder if you can really stay off your feet for the time it takes for healing. And you wonder how it would be to not have the grafts. I won’t tell you what to do, for, as you know, I am not a “champion” of modern medical procedures. I just will say that what is of most importance is considering how your spirit is affected by actions or non-actions. Spirit can grow under any circumstances… and can wane under quite similar circumstances.

You have returned from a short, simple walk outside, on this cold, but sun-filled day. Now your feet throb slightly, evidence that you’re not quite ready for this “action.” But when? Will this be your condition for the rest of this life? How long will that be? Naturally, I don’t tell you all that I know, in response to these questions. An important part of earth life is NOT knowing how your actual future will be. This seems “hard” now, but you’ll re-appreciate My Ways when you finally do come “back across.”

Your life here is good, and you have to “get through” the time necessary for healing. You appreciate that life may not be EXACTLY the same, just as it isn’t as it was in earlier years. There shall soon be a new Chair for your old Department, and that may (or may not) affect your status and your office space. You’d like to retain that small office, but you have to accept that yet another part of your life must change.

You soon will have a new senior pastor in place at the Church, and she will have little appreciation for you and your “former roles”. Thus you see this association (in the human sense) winding down. Just accept that this makes it easier for you to visit some of your “other churches,” which also may be good for your spirit.