Life… As Of Now

TUES., JUNE 28, 1994, 11:40 AM
PULLIAM HALL, OFFICE

The Ruminations has been completed, with some choice for the last page still to be made. The Newsletter copy is in, and if you get those minutes written this week you can avoid that last minute dash that has been typical for this task, now completed. It is time to begin preparation for this class that will commence in 2 weeks. It is familiar, certainly, but there is some organization necessary… and I recommend at least one new activity for this group. That’s one glimpse of life… as of now.

This is a pleasant time for you… a time to accomplish some things and also a time to putter… perhaps read, in ways that I lead you. It is a time to pay more attention to Lenore, for even a beloved wife who loves you needs extra attention in times that are not obviously stressful. Keep trying to make contact with Matthew, for he needs your company, more than you have provided. He is ready to come closer to you and to a more purposeful life, but you need to take more initiative.

Your other sons need attention too, and I don’t see their names on your list. Each is living life very fully, with demands galore. Some encouragement from you will be appreciated, more than you know. As you remember, they are moving into a stressful period of work and family life, and each would appreciate some warm words from you.

Your career is in a nice steady place, with a slight downward curve. If asked, you must begin to assess whether you should take on advisor responsibilities for those with a long-term program. You are thinking more firmly now about 3 years hence as a time to retire. Yet it may be that you should continue, for the stimulation and for the means to continue to help sons, as needs continue. The crucial factor, as you well know, is not your age but your enthusiasm for the teaching role. We both must continue to assess this.

Health is a positive condition of functioning and adapting, if I hear you right. Your foot pain is virtually gone (just occasionally bothersome), and you put up with this floppy foot as a minor disability as, hopefully, your nerves regenerate. You’ve adapted well to this, and your spirit has accepted both the return, eventually, to full functioning and this imperfection as something permanent. So let your spirit overcome this aspect of life, with it being a very minor irritation.

Cancer… you remember that the diagnosis was some actual cells in that organ called the prostate. You have been faithful in letting your body benefit from non-invasive remedies that have been successful with others. You know there shall be a time, in the Fall, when a test will suggest whether or not these have benefitted you, in this time and place. Though you got through this back surgery in quite a commendable fashion, you would not like to go through the more drastic removal that could lie ahead. You needn’t focus on it at this time, but, in a minor way, it is part of your life… as of now.

Decisions must come, somewhat soon, about conventions to attend or not attend. There are two choices in this Fall semester… are you ready to participate in both? You hate to miss either, but you are aware of the stress that comes with such absences/travels. Assess yourself, as accurately as you can.