Matthew’s Dilemma

AUG. 7, 1980, 6:56 AM
W. WILLOW, STUDY

You are reluctant, o son, to hear words of Mine in relation to Matthew. Interesting. You pray for guidance, but then as I am willing to offer it through this means you hesitate. This will be a good test. Will you write down what I say, even if you would rather not? We shall see.

Matthew is your youngest son, and this is part of his dilemma. How do you grow up as the youngest and last of five boys? Now it seems as though he is an only son, but he knows this is not true, and, so, clearly, do you. He has learned much from his brothers, some of which shall be helpful and useful as his life develops, and some of which is harmful to his development as a mature person. His dilemma is: How does he know, at this age, what to treasure and hang on to, and what to try to unlearn… and how do you unlearn something learned?

You might say that this is simple: just prize the behaviors you and Lenore approve and get rid of the “others”. Another dilemma: to what extent should he be “your boy” and to what extent “his own man”? In being his own person he feels that he must do certain things that he wants to do… and if you disapprove then it is clear that he is just not being “your boy”. The Scriptures record one incident when I, as Jesus, at age 12, defied My parents and began to “be My own man”. It is true that this was a gentler and more understandable defiance, because I was being about My True Father’s business. Yet at the time, for My parents, it was a case of disobedience and irresponsibility. If I would have asked them for permission, would they have given it. Probably not. I have experienced Matthew’s dilemma.

You are considering sending him forth from your house if he does not obey and become what you would have him be. You pose this threat hoping that he will prize the security of bed and meals and fellowship with you both more than the assertion of himself in potentially harmful ways. His dilemma is how to stay in your midst without sacrificing his own identity with himself… and friends. Obedience to parents can be comforting to the parents, but also can be seen as a non-assertion of self. What compromises must be made to satisfy both. As Jesus I made some, and they were ideal only because I, the Son of God, made them. My parents were not happy with some of them, and I was not happy with others. Too bad some of these weren’t recorded.

My disciple Matthew and his namesake, your son, shared a common dilemma: “bad friends”. Matthew’s occupation meant that the “good people” didn’t like him or associate with him. He still needed friends, so, naturally, they were others that the “good people” did not like. I was criticized roundly for choosing him, but he was one I wanted. (Also it was an important assertion against the “good, religious people” that the love of God is reserved for them.) Matthew’s dilemma was: should he give up all of his old friends and cleave solely to Me and the other disciples… or are friendships among those rejected still valuable? He sometimes wished that I hadn’t selected him.