Money… And… Mind

WED., AUG. 8, 2001, 11:28 AM
FARM, STUDY

You are having a difficult time, o son, with your “accounting for” money. And, yes, this does relate to the fact that your mind is becoming less reliable, in relation to memory and rational thought. Your “fretting” about money “sets your mind” off, and the result is not unlike your “irregular heart beat.” I can’t really help you with all of this directly, but I can try to re-orient you to thoughts that soothe rather than upset your soul.

You have never been truly comfortable with money. I have told you… and you accept, rationally, that you never have been really “in need.” You have had (you must admit) enough to live a satisfying life, and you’ve been able to keep track of what you have and of what and to whom you owe. Now you’re in a time with more money than you’ve ever had before, but you can’t quite “manage” it. You seem to have enough, but you aren’t sure what and how much that is.

This makes you quite aware that you are losing mental capacities as you are obviously losing physical ones. Only in your mid-70’s. You feel that you’re not old enough to experience such losses, and you continue to try to regain capacities that were once easy and almost “automatic.” But, at this age, should you be trying… or is this “counter-productive”?

You look at this bank statement. It looks familiar… you’ve dealt with such for years. With your red marks it looks to be “all in order.” But it doesn’t balance with your check register, and you’ve struggled, in vain, to bring the two into harmony. I’ve never had to do that, so you can consider that, as you hear My advice to you.

It is, of course, that at your age, in your condition, physically, and in your relationship with Me, Holy Spirit, you should be giving money matters very little attention. You have never been poor, even as you have worried more than was necessary about money matters. In your life you’ve been “careful with” money. Now… you have no desires for “what money can buy.” I tell you this is good, but you still are over-concerned with this aspect of life.

You have compromised in achieving a balance. You know it isn’t an accurate, honest balance number, but it’s the best you can do now. You are not pleased with your attitude and behavior over these months since your “foot fiasco” in relation to this check register and your monthly task of keeping it in balance with the bank. It has always been difficult to keep track of both your check-writing and Lenore’s. Now your mind seems to be rebelling against this “process,” which, in your mind seems to be getting harder… more frustrating.

You recognize that your memory and your thought processes are about like your heart rhythm… “missing beats.” Do what you can to compensate for such “losses,” and also try to accept what now is and that losses will continue.

I’ve mentioned this before, but I’ll reemphasize it again now – in contrast to sons Michael and Peter, you, like unto your parents, are having the “luxury” of living on into a time of gradual losses… called “old age.” You don’t want to live on into a condition wherein you can’t do much of what you do now. So… appreciate the losses as they come, compensate for them as you can, and keep a positive, appreciative outlook on life, with focus on what you still have. I won’t “bug” you about what you still can… and should… do, but know that I’m trying to help you live what earth life you still have in as positive a mood as possible.