Old Year

DECEMBER 31, 1979, 8:04 AM

This shall be a difficult morning, o distracted son. Your mind is not attuned to Mine. It is wandering badly… and you are not writing well either. The circumstances do not bode well for good teaching/learning. But you are here, so let’s do the best We can.

You are writing on the last day of this “year”… and of the decade. These, of course, are symbolic times only. But symbols can be important. So let’s pretend that time is important (which I sometimes do) and that this really is a “last day”… a time to reflect.

You think, this morning, of your drinking… of the times when it is normal and useful and good and of the times when it is excessive. The former still predominate, but the latter are irksome to one who values control. You know the symptoms. Don’t overexaggerate, but also don’t overrationalize. Drinking is part of the balance of life, and, like most, it can’t be balanced completely with reason. Its balance comes from within you and shows you forth. Therefore, the critical matter is not the drinking but what it reveals about you.

Eating is comparable. Your controls are not working as well. This is a critical time. It is not so much a matter of control as of lifestyle. What shall your life be. Look inside of yourself… as well as outside. See what your balance shall be.

This has been a year of shifting balances for you… and the shift continues. You have reflected, a time or two, on the fact that your life has never “fit together” in a harmonious way. Rather, it is a life of harmonious pieces… that do not necessarily relate to one another. I shall not change that, basically, but shall push you to include Me in all parts of your life. I think it would be better if you simplified your life somewhat, but, most importantly, consider the balance. This can be determined partly by you, it will be determined partly by Me, and the rest of it just “is” because of all that you are and have been. In some ways you determine your life, and in others you just observe it unfolding. Give praise for both aspects!

You struggle with My words. OK. Write it down as you are experiencing and it will seem less like a prophesy. You hear Me saying, “You will find Marian’s paper” “Write it down”. But you don’t really believe you will find it, so you don’t want to have Me showed to be wrong. I appreciate your protectiveness, but you must know that I don’t really need it. You still do not want to be a prophet. It is good that this is not your main task. But know that you cannot serve Me well without some reflection of the news I give to you. But worry not, o son… I shall increase your comfort with My ways if you keep in contact. And you shall. That I can prophesy for sure.

You shall not turn back. My influence shall not unify your life, but it shall permeate all parts. You shall slowly discard and leave behind those portions of life where My influence doesn’t seem to fit. Again, this shall be partly conscious and partly “just what happens”… and you shall observe and reflect on it. You shall just enjoy and profit from some experiences more than others… and these shall be, increasingly, the ones where My presence is most easily acknowledged. What you feel so strongly about the church shall come to dominate your being.

BUT REMEMBER. You still can serve Me best if you are not identified completely with Me and My obvious work. That balance must continue. That may be a bit hard to sustain, at times.

Well, this went better than I expected as We began. Even when you are non-receptive you are receptive. I like this. See the old year out and the new one in… for what that is worth. Forgive Me if I can’t be impressed with years. Live this day as if it were your last and as if it were one of an infinite number (which it is). Be aware. Appreciate. See Me in as much of what you do as you can.

Shalom
9:13 AM