Painful Growth

NOV. 16, 1981, 5:25 AM
FARM, STUDY

The Sabbath day began wonderfully and positively. You received a good teaching, which you shared with several, the class was alive and interacting, and your third son gave you a glorious affirmation of interest in Our work. It was a day, o son, begun with strength and promise. You forgot this completely as the day progressed. For one with a commission and a motivation to emphasize the positive, your response was disappointing.

However, your reactions were honest and did represent a dilemma that is partly of My doing. I don’t apologize. It is a difficulty that spiritual development does not cease in the actual interchanges of people. With your son Matthew you wanted to trust and to forgive, but the feeling that this is the best for his development is greatly diluted by the hints at his possible involvement. You know I have told you that he shall finally turn to Me and serve Me, even well, but also that this shall not come about until there has been more turmoil and trouble. Obviously he has not accepted My offer, and obviously he has not had any shaking change of mind in regard to himself and the family… and school. The title says it. This is a time of painful growth for you… and for Lenore and even, potentially, for him.

The situation itself has the potential for growth, but your willingness, even in brief spurts, to consider My involvement, your spiritual responsibilities, and the relevance of these teachings almost guarantees that the potential will be realized.

I suppose it was natural for you to forget the relative triumphs of the morning and develop the gloom of the afternoon. I did not chide you then. But I do now, gently but firmly. It is the spirit of maturity, and not Pollyanna, that remembers the balance between the apparent goods and evils. I do not ask you to put aside or minimize the seriousness of this to which the suspicions point. All I push and pull for is a fair rhythm, forgetting not the ways in which you are succeeding in helping others, even another son, to grow in spirit.

I heard your prayer (one of your better ones), and the boys returned safely. The rest shall evolve as it does. Do not shirk involvement, but keep a balance that allows, even empowers, you to continue to achieve in Our mission. There may be some hard decisions ahead, but these can be balanced by opportunities that bring forth honest joy. Be aware.

The experience of physical pain that was yours to bear not quite a year ago has not been forgotten, but is no longer vivid and real. You know that you had some relative suffering, but all in the midst of the joy of the Christmas season. There were car problems, leg and back problems, but you received some helpful teachings, the time with relatives and friends was pleasant and good… and Matthew baked and roasted, surprisingly. Your Ruminations covering that time show that this was a time of painful growth. The pain of Matthew’s irresponsibility is of a different sort than that which racked and nagged in and about your leg. The latter remains, but the former has gone… and you thrill at the slow return of function you are experiencing.