Pains

May 12, 1979
8:45 AM

Pains become. That makes no sense, because pains are… or pains were. But also pains become. As you think so you are, and if you feel pains you become a hurting person.

Pains are reality. Or are they? Is pain real or does it represent our need to hurt? How important a need is hurting? Do my pains, physical and mental, indicate my needs? I don’t like pain… but, is hurting good?

The painful hurts all have a purpose. To become is part of our reason for being. (The pain of a scrambling mind!) Pain is darkness, but it is also light. Dark and light are, but each is also becoming the other. Pain is, but it also is becoming… something else… no pain… even pleasure. Pains remind us of what we have been and have not fully appreciated.

Pains come unexpectedly… yet should anything really be unexpected? To both expect and be surprised is as it should be. Pains become what we have them become… and also what they become. We determine, and yet we also don’t.

Life is as we make it… and also as it is. But it also is becoming… ever becoming.

Pains are, and pains remind. Pains come with being less than we can be. And this is becoming all that we can be.

The pain of not remembering is joined to the joy of remembering. Perhaps it is better to have remembered something beautiful from amid unremembered details than to remember all but nothing special. That which caused the pain also caused the beautiful.

So it is, and was, and is becoming.

9:40

(This is the second missive penned by Bob Russell after he “cut his deal” with God that he would dedicate the first hour of his day to a “writing meditation” for the next 30 days.
This missive was penned and written only by Bob Russell)