Reflections On A Disability

SUN., JULY 17, 1983, 5:25 AM
FARM, STUDY

You sit here in the comfort of early morning, o son, and you have no pains. Particularly, you have no pain in your back or right leg. And, yes, it was just over two years ago that you came to this time of meditation with very definite discomfort in those parts of your body. Let Us reflect, this morning, on the disability with which you were preparing to live.

You have experienced very little physical pain that is real and persistent. That was the closest you have come to that experience which is a part of the life of many humans. You did hurt there for a time, becoming part of “another humanity”. And though it is your privilege not to continue in such a clan, I do not wish that you forget the experience.

You also had lost function, and though you had a natural faith in your body’s natural capacity to recover and function fully again, you knew enough about the back and its nerves to realize that permanent disability might be yours to experience. It was a period of honest ambivalence, and this was as it should be. The principle is that I want you to have and exhibit faith in yourself (including your body) and in My power and capacity and desire to bless and sustain your full functioning, without pain… and AT THE SAME TIME I want you to be able to accept challenges to spirit that I arrange or allow.

One reality is that you are rather far from true enlightenment, which is the genuine acceptance of complete and continuing relationship with Me, a oneness that allows you to see all life events wholly as My Will being accomplished. Another reality is that you are but the flicker of an eye away from this state. My Grace can supercede time and effort. Just know that as you feel the imminence of this altered state during these times of communion you are experiencing reality.

As you walk, run, lift, and move in ways that you could not with the disability “you should have had”, you sometimes are aware and appreciate. This restoration is some combination of natural recovery and pure gift from Me. Don’t fret yourself about the proportions. Do not be over-humble, but also acknowledge My power to change that which should not be changed.

You have residual numbness and occasional strange cramps in that leg which are the reminder system. Perfection shall never return, even though rather full function is yours to enjoy. Appreciate this encounter with a challenge to spirit, for this, truly, was what it was. There is a natural tendency for many of you Americans to fell, even to say, that “a good God… or My God… wouldn’t do a thing like that”. I realize that My Scriptures can be interpreted as assigning blame to Satan or other evil forces… or just to chance. I am involved only in the positive, upbuilding events of life, so goes the interpretations. But you see that this leaves Me out of many life experiences… or without the power to heal and make right. It says, in effect, “the Lord would help if He could, but he just can’t”.