Resentment

AUG. 12, 1980, 7:01 AM
W. WILLOW, STUDY

You heard this title, o son, when you were still in bed, and, yes, it is the one I wish to speak to this day. It shall not be a pleasant teaching… but a necessary one. For you are showing resentment these days, and this is not a characteristic of good health. In order to deal with it you must be aware… and then appreciate both the phenomenon and the cause.

Let’s start positively. You have so much “going for you”. You have good health, you have a fine position in life, your grown sons are showing themselves to be loving, responsible men, and the “earth is still the Lord’s”. I hear your prayer about yourself, and I shall tell you what to do… in other ways at this time. You have a good wife, property, good relations with students and colleagues, a good capacity to write rather well, and a good continuing relationship with Me. You thought last night, but briefly, of the incongruity of this regular, helpful time with Me and the strong, primitive resentment you were feeling. Consider that again.

You are feeling resentment toward your son, Matthew. You love him and know that he is a special gift to you both (not someone you planned for and previously wanted). I have told you that I have some special use for this potential Servant. This is one of the causes of your resentment. He is a special young man – a son to you and a servant to Me and yet he seems to be wasting himself in drinking, smoking, and TV watching. You resent his seeming lack of desire to be what he should, and could, be. You have mostly tried to achieve what is possible, even unlikely. You resent it when one of your sons shows no inclination to follow such a course.

However righteous resentment may be, however valid the cause for the feelings, it just detracts from your health. You want to be a healthy person, and I want you to be such. Yet this is pulling you down, without dealing directly with the cause.

Consider some action. Obviously you must talk to Matthew about this. Despite the possibility that it might not be a happy, productive conversation you must initiate it, must carry it out as best you can, being appreciative all the while of your resentment, and then give the results to Me. That is crucial. You are under grace, and therefore you are to give Me your successes and your failures, and step forth unencumbered for the next opportunities of life. Resentment is caused, finally, by your unwillingness to give those potential feelings over to Me. You selfishly hold them to yourself. It is a focus on self, rather than on Me. And this is basically unhealthy, for you. To the extent that your motivations in doing anything are primarily self-centered, rather than toward Me or toward the good of others, you are not showing health… health of the spirit, primarily.

Resentment reflects spiritual ill-health. Know this. Reflect upon it. Take some action. If verbal confrontations don’t seem to be effective, remember that you write well and that Matthew is an able reader. Write him letters expressing your feelings, and then conversations can start from a different place.

Keep a diary. Write letters to other understanding friends. Talk to Lenore. Express feelings to Me. But whatever you do, don’t hold these resentful feelings inside of yourself. This is no appropriate use of the word “martyr”. This is simple selfishness. Yes, you!