Spiritual Struggles

WED., JULY 10, 1996, 5:50 AM
HAMA’S CABANA, HONOLULU

It is basically a familiar place, where you are now. It is strange that you were awake so early, perhaps a vivid evidence of what’s called “jet lag”, in which you have not believed. The place now has a more landscaped look, and, of course, the house has a different kitchen. Still, it is good for you to be here.

I’ve reviewed some of your early life experiences in recent Teachings, so I won’t repeat these here… except to emphasize that I was guiding you, even in those years before I came to you so directly. One slight spiritual struggle, of which I’ll remind you, was leaving here that year after you had been named an Academy Dean. It was an important position at Punahou, and you could, from it, affect the lives of many young people. Also, you remember, you had quite an adequate home, brand new, on the campus… and you even had put down permanent carpeting. Punahou had been good to you. You were pulling out on them, and it wasn’t a good feeling.

The other, rather ironic (now), struggle was a familial one. You wanted your children to know their grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins… their kin… and there was no evidence, then, that any of them would come out here to keep that family connection. Nearly 40 years later you are here visiting your parents and your sister and brother-in-law. But, you see, I used that spiritual struggle to urge you back to Stanford. There would have been spiritual growth here in the Dean’s position, certainly. But I wanted you where you are now, and Stanford was more of a means than an end in itself. I’m glad you have kept the connection here, and that it has a spiritual quality to it. Yet, rightly, you have no strong desire to be here, rather than where you are now. If it is a spiritual struggle it is a minor one, for your tasks are mostly now associated with Southern Illinois and your academic profession.

The first struggle of this visit has been waged, and you failed, you have to admit. It was harder to face these aged parents of yours than you had imagined. It was pleasant and easy to talk with Joanne and Howard, and you let that win out over the tougher “assignment” of relating with your parents. You did give your Dad a hug, which he appreciated. The start was positive, but then you took the easy way. But… one day at a time… easy does it. It is a struggle, and you have more days in which to succeed. I’m with you, but you know what you must do.

The Teachings you’ve selected are good ones. The questions you developed are as I suggested. They need some organizing, but you have several ways to get your Dad talking. The challenge is to adapt to his responses and know how to go on to some different, but related, questions. The score is now 0-1, against you.

Another struggle to which you must look forward is the revealing of more of your spiritual path to the students you’ll have in this last year of full-time teaching. You’ve come closest to this in the Human/Spiritual Interacting class, and, hopefully, you’ll be able to have that as one of your last summer experiences. You’ve also come close in Death Education, and you still should follow up with Tammy, Docia, Vivian, at least, with this current Ruminations. It shall be a struggle to actually tell these next classes how you see life, death, and spirit. You know you’ll “lose” some in the process, but, do as I do… see the positives… the gains… those whom you touch in a more powerful way.