Standing On The Brink

SUN., FEB. 18, 2001, 4:35 PM
FARM, STUDY

You are a bit surprised that it has been more than a week since you have given Me a chance to offer you a Teaching. Oh, I realize that this has been a difficult time in which to “keep track” of time, but it also has been a time with almost no imperative tasks (other than these records of what I say to you). So, accept a mild rebuke and then listen as I come to you in this mystical way.

Tomorrow is, finally, the day you were going to avoid, but Lenore has “guided” you to accept that, though the recovery will be difficult, the result will be better functioning feet, for the rest of your life. You’re still not certain about how this all shall “balance out”… this surgery and the other losses and weaknesses that now are part of “you”, as a physical person. You shall just have to accept whatever the results will be.

You know I have not been in favor of this course of action, but I do like the relationship that you and Lenore have, so I accept… and I call on you to accept… that this shall be a unique spiritual adventure, comparable, in a few ways, to the “walk in the woods,” from which these painful feet had their origin. But then I’ll still say, “Subject yourself to the medical care “approach to life” as little as possible.

But you do want to enjoy functional, painless feet again, so you shall have to ignore your natural tendencies to be “independent.” See it as a spiritual challenge to give up your self-sufficiency for awhile… until the grafts “take”… and the skin some other part of your body has “provided” grows into new skin for your heels. That shall be hard for you, but it is the way I want you to approach this “brink.”

You have had few times that you have “stood on the brink” of some drastic medical procedure. And you are fortunate that such have not been necessary in your basically healthy life. You could have “toughed” this injury through, but, as I said, you decided to do what Lenore wants (even though she seems unwilling to have comparable treatment of her painful knees).

If this doesn’t “work out” as the surgeon “promises” you’ll then have to decide, once again, what you should do. But DON’T look back, with “if I had only…” as your mournful cry. Expect the good, positive result that his skill shall promise but accept any result as your body’s response to a medical procedure. You are feeling pain now, and this could be a condition you shall bet to “live with” for the rest of your life. Just remember that your sister Joanne has lived with pain for over 60 years… and disability. If you have to “join her” in pain that persists it shall be a good test of your spirit.

You have had a relatively “easy,” successful, painfree life, so keep this perspective, rather than moaning about this medical “result” and showing forth an attitude of “poor me.”

You probably will be disturbed by the monetary costs of this “medical moment.” So, again, consider how few costs you have had in your life and know that you have quite a “cushion”, from your parents’ estate. Just assume that your parents, now gone from this earth, are still “helping out” in this medical expenditure.

The hardest part of the “brink” will be curbing your natural desire to “help out” and do what needs doing around this Farm. ( 5:18 / 5:23 ). The “cost”… breaking the grafts loose… must motivate you to give up your “macho self” for this healing period. You CAN do it, but it will be difficult, I realize. I do like your spirit, but now I shalt try to help you “put it on hold.”

Be perceptive about medical care as you have this experience with it. Appreciate it as much as you can, but it isn’t necessary to become a true “devotee” of this mixture of art and science. This may help you decide whether you should “succumb” to any further treatment… no matter what the possible consequences may be.