The Beginning Of An Ending

THURS., APR. 26, 2001, 9:32 AM
OFFICE, PULLIAM

Yes, o son, the day has come that you have anticipated (but not with enthusiasm) – the announcement that you must move out of this office. Thus, it is the beginning of the end of a symbolic era. Your active career ended in the summer of 1998, but you have been relatively active as “an Emeritus,” and you have been allowed to keep this small office, with still holds a lot of “stuff,” about which you’ll have to decide – keep and take home… offer to younger colleagues… or throw away. You haven’t wanted to “face” this change, but here it is, with a 2 month deadline, max.

Looking at it in the most positive way, you have been privileged to be here while students you had and knew finished programs and graduated. Now most of these here are unknown to you… and you to them. It is an appropriate “happening,” but, still, one you haven’t wanted to face. But here it is. You shall now be but a “visitor” to this now-familiar floor, and will soon be forgotten. This is as it should be, in this culture, which is not particularly a “favorite” of Mine. Positively, it makes it rather easily possible for young professors to come in and make a place for themselves… as you did, some years ago. But you now are experiencing “the other side” – the “disposal” of those who “have been,” but are no longer “producing” as professors are expected to be. Now it is your turn to feel the “downside” of preference for “the young.”

You realize that your opportunities came because some “older ones” retired. Now it is your turn to be the “sacrifice.” The old must give way to the young, proclaims your culture, and you did benefit from such an ethos when you were beginning your career. (Note here that you almost didn’t have the visual acuity to clean the wax from your hearing aid. I do notice.) In a few “primitive” cultures the elderly have more respect and attention, but this also means that able young people must wait longer for chances to achieve. You can’t “win” all the time!

This has been a nice little office, but consider, again, some suggestions of Mine in continuing some contact with this campus. Increasingly there will be fewer personal relationships, leaving the physical environment here (with some memories) as the main attraction. You are no longer an esteemed, notable professor. Your time has passed. Now you are just another retiree, whose accomplishments will remain notable to a decreasing few.

Yet… you still are alive… and more “well” than handicapped. You have much time, and you can pace yourself. You are a contributing member of this Thursday morning Bible study group (and do you contribute “too much?” – Occasionally, yes), and you hope the group continues. It does seem to be attracting new “members,” as others fade away.

So, you are experiencing another rather definite step away from what “has been” and you must face the decision-heavy task of what to keep. You are better prepared for this after this time as Emeritus. You should be a better judge of what to keep and what to let become “trash from the past.” So first check your bookcases and files at home, and, with honesty, determine what shall go – and stay there. Then you can see how much actual room you have for additions from here. (You see, I can be reasonably practical, as well as Supremely Spiritual!) And begin to take “stuff” home, a box at a time. Select the “true keepers” first. Some surprising places on your Farm will become the “new homes” for some of what is here. Thus, you should be readying that place for some of what you have here, now.

And, from a spiritual perspective, consider all of this as an analog to your physical life as Bob Russell. You are losing capacities, obviously, and you wonder how much attention you should give to your high blood pressure… and to cancer… while you hope your feet will recover more than presently. So, what should you be doing? I haven’t changed My chorus: Teaching first, then Ruminations. More time in contemplation… and appreciation of what is and what has been. More attention to Lenore as your destined and loved life partner (da Best!). More re-reading and re-viewing of films that have been part of your past.