The New Rhythm… Creepeth

MON., FEB. 9, 1998, 2:28 PM
NEW OFFICE, PULLIAM

Yes, o son, each day moves you a bit closer to the rhythm of life that shall be right for these first Emeritus years. The aches in the night that you now are experiencing will continue for a time, so… both appreciate and ignore these as important in your life. You made some progress in the “ordering” of your study last evening, and that should continue, until it is the “new scene” I want it to be.

As you got to the bottom of the pile on your desk you came upon the letter and form from the Retirement Service. You have been expecting that, so it does seem strange that it arrived about a month ago, an arrival that didn’t seem to impress you. But I’m glad that your initial thoughts, on rediscovering these pages, were to the effect that I was, in truth, providing what you need… and more. It is logical and rational that the amount you shall receive in your Emeritus condition is purely a financial/economic matter. Yet I want you to think mystically, appreciating that I am finally the “Giver” of all that you get. You can consider it thus. It is harder to communicate to many others.

It was good that you and Dorothy lunched together today. She is older and more handicapped, and therefore is in greater need than you for someone to talk with, about important life issues. With money less of a “problem” consider how lunch with some variety of persons can become part of this new rhythm… as a unique time of learning and “teaching”. You’re not sure how Dorothy actually reacted to your reading her this last Ruminations. See it as a gift. Don’t concern yourself with the “reception”.

Often you are bothered and frustrated by the “clutter” on your Farm and the “chores” left undone… for which you are responsible. In your new rhythm set some goals and objectives… to accomplish what is possible in the time available. Don’t flay yourself when you don’t accomplish as you plan. This is a time in life when “if it isn’t done today, there’s always tomorrow… or next Monday”. Importantly, enjoy what you do accomplish… the place, the activities, the interactions. What you’re enjoying now is a mystical combination of “the fruits of your labor”, Lenore’s influence and actions (now and over the years) and, naturally, My Guiding Hand. And don’t bother trying to assess how much each of Us did.

Reading is not yet an established portion of your rhythm, as it finally should be. You still take too many periodicals, but assess them as they come, appreciate some and toss some others. That was a fine story that you read last night – the wonderful tribute of one brother to another… a life that was not long but lived in a powerful, positive way. Dying “early” does elicit more heart-felt remembrances than when the non-productive elder years are overlong. You are realizing how few the years will be until you are “forgotten”, by students, certainly, but also by colleagues.

Appreciate your life now, but also look forward, without regret, for a diminishing of your “importance”. Savor these opportunities, as you will have this week, putting “yourself” into what you say and sing. You’ll know when you’ve “done enough”.

Though you do have ample appreciation for the Farm on which you live I want you, now, in each season, to traverse the whole property, including trails on the north side. It is a shame that the Crib is no more. That could have been a nice part of this new rhythm. (Yes, I could have saved it… I just didn’t). I want you to know more about your whole Farm, not just the few select places. Their “value” will not diminish if you do as I suggest here.