To “Fight”… Or Not?

TUES., APR. 4, 2000, 2:06 PM
OFFICE, PULLIAM

Here today you have been offered an “opportunity” to be part of a dispute in this Department, of which you were once an active part… but are now “on the fringe.” You have two inclinations, after this over 3 hours with colleague Judy: 1) to take a supportive stance for the cause that Judy has developed and does teach… one designed to help graduate students on their way to a good teaching career or 2) to smile and say, in effect, “I no provoke”… “I was always more of a lover than a fighter.”

No, you know that “always” is not accurate. Much of your youth and young adulthood is remembered as times of fighting for or against some “things.” You fought for your coaching jobs… for success in your field and some of its sub-fields… for some national prominence. And yet you chose what to fight for, and even in these “fighting years” you weren’t fully aggressive. You don’t perceive that colleagues considered you clearly as a fighter, for yourself and/or for important causes.

You feel that you were more than fortunate throughout your career that you didn’t have to really fight for what you achieved. You prepared yourself reasonably well and took opportunities that were offered, more so than beating down opponents for “victory.” You remember as I do, (for I was “observing” even then!) when you were asked to justify your continuance as head football coach at Punahou, after a mediocre season. You “politely” declined, announcing that you and Lenore were to be married, and that you would soon be in a doctoral program at Stanford, not a “new venture’ for former Punahou teachers. Then you were invited back, even to coach football. You hadn’t fought for this chance, but, with a less competitive attitude, you won a championship.

You didn’t have to aggressively compete for your faculty positions back at Stanford or for the position here. And, as you settled into the latter part of your career as a tenured, full professor, you have found fewer and fewer situations that have demanded your “fighting posture.”

And now you are being offered (sort of) an opportunity to help fight for something you have believed in – a course to help graduate students, particularly at the doctoral level, prepare for future teaching of college students. You do believe that such experiences are helpful, and that this institution should be dedicated to “turning out” future young professors who are prepared for this fine work, with some “practice” as part of the preparation. In your experience, having this as a course is more likely to benefit students… rather than just extra-curricular “training.”

So, you do believe that one “alternative” is better than the other… but… is it worth “fighting for?” Judy, who is considerably younger than you are, believes that it is, and she, obviously (as a fighter), would value your help in this “cause.”

Yet you also recognize that part of this (but how much?) is an “internal power struggle,” with this issue as an igniter of personal controversy. You know that it can be seen that you, in avoiding such “struggles” during your active career, were not a fighter… were “weak.” From your perspective “non-involvement” in political issues was just a “perk” that went along with “tenured full…”

So, here’s the larger issue to consider: at your age, nearing 74, is it necessary to continue to fight for causes (or against “opponents”)? Or is this prime time to resist involvement and practice “non-attachment”? Can you accept the possibility that this “program,” of which you were an enthusiastic, active participant for 32 years, could be overcome in controversy… and slowly “die,” in the scenario that Judy outlined? Should you “fight,” in some ways, to maintain it… or is there a parallel to the “bodily picture” I have offered you?