Want… And… Ought

FRI., DEC. 3, 1993, 10:57 AM
FARM, STUDY

One of the constant balances of earth life is that between and among what you want to do and what you know you ought to do. You are an individual human with now more than 67 years of life, and you now have some preferences as to what to do and not do. Often in your younger years you did what someone else wanted, mostly with a good spirit. Now you have less positive feeling for “duty” and more for that which is pleasing to you.

Yesterday you finished the Survival lectures and, yet again, you survived this opportunity (as I call it) or chore (as you mostly see it). There were enough genuine expressions of appreciation to make you feel good, and the probability of doing your “set” before a fuller house next term gives the task a more positive “glow.” Your willingness to carry on next semester for Kathy’s benefit is to your credit. You don’t want to do it, but you will, for her. I like that. You also could end the first lecture with a song as well as the Chief’s message, for you see how groups respond to your “dancing” in this way. Remember that I do like you to do this, for your emphasis on spirit… but I shall not press you for years ahead. But continue to at least consider possibilities.

You realize now and frankly state that an important reason for your leaving your worthwhile position at Punahou School for higher education was for a “better” balance with your professional “work” time, in relation to the control of your time. At Punahou much of what you did was determined by others. At Stanford and here you have been and are much more in control of how you are and what you shall do. You would like to have accomplished more… and yet you are pleased with what you have done. You ought to do more, and you even want to, but We shall see whether the motivation and drive are still there, sufficiently.

You have been moderately willing to give of your excess in monies as I suggest, but now I detect an increasing reluctance to give and more desire to save for your own future needs. This is just beginning, but you see the time of your full earning power diminishing, with some concern for what after retirement. Of course I’ll say again that I want you to be in My Everlasting Arms, and that I shall provide, in many ways, some quite hard to discern. You still have difficulty in really believing this and living as if it is true. I’m not surprised, but I am a bit disappointed. Don’t think you can just sit back and do nothing, for I do use you in helping yourself. But don’t bother with anxiousness… which is unnecessary.

Continue to give full attention to your classes, because this is what you want to do. Continue to assess other responsibilities that you have and others that you could take on. Keep the balance toward what you want to do… that still is of advantage to others. Give a bit more help to Lenore, even in tasks that would not be of your free choosing. You ought to be of more help to her. You want to, for her sake, but the tasks are usually ones you don’t do well. Just balance this a bit better.

As this Wednesday morning breakfast/Bible study has gone on you have wanted to be well prepared and to participate fully, and you have. See if it will continue for the Wednesdays till Christmas, but if not, consider that you should continue some study of your own. It could be a good time to reread and reconsider Paul’s epistle to the Romans.