Why Are You Here?

WED., JUNE 20, 1990, 5:34 AM
FARM, STUDY

Even after more than eleven years I have to come to you with answers to this question. I urged you out of bed in plenty of time for a Teaching, and your response was “Why am I here?” I am not concerned that you will stop coming but rather that you will lose the verve you have had about this relational process. Thus, as I hear this questioning, in your mind and your spirit, I must respond.

This question has both an immediate and a long range context. The immediate is why are you here at this desk this morning, writing with this special pen on this special paper? Why do you continue to write what you call Teachings? No one else does this. Why should you? Is it all just a farce?

These times of doubt are natural, living in the culture that you do. Ours is a mystical “practice”, and yet it has a tangible result. You hear Me, and yet when you try to explain it the words do not sound convincing. I have elected to guide you in a rather personal way, and this can be wonderful, but also embarrassing. You have been named Teacher of the Year, and this also has an embarrassing side to it. You know you are not better than the 400-500 other teachers who could have received the honor. And yet this seems to imply that you are.

In like fashion when you claim that you are writing a Teaching from the Holy Spirit, and no one else is having this experience (at least ono one else that you know), that seems to set you apart in ways that are uncomfortable. If I didn’t urge you to this desk at this time you would not seek Me, with your own initiative. You would feel some sense of relief that this “phase” of your life is over, and you can be more “normal.” Now isn’t this truth… at least in part?

And yet you would also miss this communion with Me. I tell you that you are not particularly special, even as I have selected, groomed, and encouraged you in this relationship. I want you to learn from Me rather than from those who write in professional ways. I want you to know that spirit is what life truly is about, and this requires repetition and reinforcement. I urge you to tasks that you do not do, and yet I return and keep urging you.

You are here with Me so that you can be a better servant of Mine in your church, in your profession, with your family, and in this culture of which you are a part. You are a better teacher because of these Teachings. You are comfortable talking about spirit in many different contexts. This is what I want.

The more basic question is why are you, the individual Bob Russell, here in this bodily form in this place, doing what you do? You are on a spiritual journey, a relatively “old,” well developed soul. I can’t give you a complete preview of what you shall know when this earthly life is over, but I can say that you are doing pretty much as you purposed… and more, because of My unexpected help. Yet this is not the “first time” that I have guided you. And it won’t be the last.

I am not ready to have you go back on your own. It might seem to be a relief at first, but I tell you that the feeling of loss would be much stronger. I want you to continue to hear Me and to write what you hear. I want you to continue to write and send out a Ruminations each quarter (and you shall be pressed on this coming one, yet again). I want you to offer the Human/Spiritual Interacting class at least every third summer, and your Sunday morning class shall resume, after some respite. I want you to keep these Teachings in order and up to date so that you can use them in ways that you, I, and Lenore can suggest.