You And Your Old Farm House

FRI., JUNE 23, 2000, 7:09 AM
FARM, STUDY

It is early summer, and quite comfortable. You see the sun behind the leafy cover that surrounds this old Farmhouse. This is not a gray day of rain, and for this… be thankful. You made progress on the typing of Our Ruminations yesterday, but you see that you must cut out some of what seemed right to include if you’re going to stick to Our 7 page limit. You can do this, but you were satisfied with what you had… and surprised that this isn’t coming out as you expected.

You are “inhabiting” a body, that has been yours for now over 74 years. It has been quite a good body, but now it clearly is deteriorating. You expected (though you didn’t give this much thought in your earlier years) that your body… and mind… would last as well as those of your parents. Clearly, “yours” is going “earlier”.

The feelings you have about this are obviously mixed. You would like to have more years in quiet retirement, with a body (including sense organs) that continues to function well. You experienced some of your Dad’s losses, with him, but, by then, he was considerably older than you are now. Thus you would wish for more well-functioning life.

BUT most of the functions you’re losing will not return, and, during your active career, you taught that death was a natural consequence of coming into being, a natural happening for every living thing. You also professed that humans are now excessive, in the earth (or close to it). There needs to be less commitment to prolonging lives by medical means (particularly “miracles”) and a simplification of life.

Thus, you’d like to live on, but your losses, “untended” suggest not much more life. As an environmentalist you should accept this, even welcome it. You are not afraid of dying (as you shouldn’t be, with Me to welcome you back from this successful earth venture), and you don’t want to live on… and on… with increasing “handicaps”. I’ll repeat what I’ve advised before: fight for more life, certainly, but outside of the medical care system. Appreciate the adaptations your body is making, and adapt to the losses as best you can. Focus on what you still have, rather than on what “once was”.

And then there’s this old Farmhouse. It is experiencing losses, and you’ve employed the “equivalent” of the medical care system to bring it back to its original… or even better… health. This may or may not be possible. You have to trust the judgment and competence of these young “workers”, and “improvements” have to fit in with the old “that still is”. I won’t advise you on this, but you do have to accept that, as with your body, some changes… losses… cannot be recouped.

Any improvements could be expensive (and this is also true for your body) so consider what changes are worth, given your present and future monetary situation… and your view of the future.

You’d like to “finish out this earth life” here on your Farm… and certainly not in some institutional setting… and you have concerns for Lenore’s continuing earth life (beyond yours). Will she want to stay here, without you as her life partner? Could she manage this, if she had to hire to keep it going?

It now looks as though your Dad’s estate is close to being settled, and that settlement could be available as a solution to this Farmhouse dilemma. Yet you want to be as assured, as possible, that Lenore’s life will continue to be comfortable… as unstressed as possible.