Your Life… Too “Messy” ?!

FRI., SEPT. 10, 1999, 6:43 AM
FARM, STUDY

Yes, o son, it does seem, this morning, as you are here to listen for and to Me, that this term “messy” applies to your life… a bit too fully. This desk is obviously a mess, as is this study that I share with you, fairly often. Somewhere in all of this is Our “official pen,” but at least you found the “back-up.” You did find some copies of the presentation you’ll do for hospice, but you were surprised that you hadn’t saved the “originals.” Copies off of this buff paper won’t be as clear as you’d prefer, but at least you did find these. You never have been well-organized… and neat… but old age is worsening this tendency. What do I, Holy Spirit, have to say about this?

I realize, of course, that it is no longer imperative that you be well-organized and “on the ball.” Your career is behind you, and you feel it moving away, gradually, but… You are “hanging on” to it, in some ways, and I have no objection to this, but you can see, looking ahead from now, that future presentations could be embarrassing. You would want to come across as “the wise old professional,” but more and more of your audience would see you as “a disorganized old fud.” And it is hard for you to remain an accurate judge of how well you’re doing.

You see, you’ll have to decide what you still are able to do, competently, and how much more time it will take to be really prepared. You’re now coming to appreciate, more fully, when Obie and Hoyman “withdrew” from active participation, as their competencies and memories dwindled. As I help you realize these losses in yourself, you must be willing to admit such… and hope you can be accepted for who you are now, rather than who you were, once.

You are quite aware that the high values in your culture are adaptation to change, youth, vigor, and competition. The elderly can be truly valued as they display several of these characteristics. You get some credit “for trying,” but you’ll be judged on the performance expected of a younger person. So… expect this, and, more and more, don’t try what you no longer can “be.”

With the possibility that your earth life, as Bob Russell, will be shorter than you expected, you should consider ( 7:33 / 7:35 ) ways to simplify it, even further. You just can’t do, with ease, what you still expect of yourself. These are tough realizations for one who has been a good competitor, but these last years can be more comfortable if you willingly move on to a “less messy” state of being.

I do want you to continue Our Ruminations, and I still would favor four a year. You needn’t be upset if any Letter is “late,” but, with fewer responsibilities and tasks, you should be able to keep this up, as a top priority.

You have planned to remain on the Session, and as Clerk, until your term is up, but with the Nominating process coming up, you might decide that now is a time to leave that behind, as well. Another simplification, particularly if there is to be some controversy over your style. So… consider this…

What do you simplify “to”? How about… this place, Ruminations, Lenore and your family, and, perhaps, some written reflections on your life, as an “addendum” to these volumes of Teachings. You should still remain “social,” but only as this is comfortable. It seemed strange to you that when your parents retired to Hawaii they didn’t develop a social life beyond the family and a few mutual friends… comparable to what they had in Long Beach. You are still younger than they were, then, but you’re now beginning to feel as they must have felt. For everything there is a season…